should I stay or should I go now?

Below are a few thoughts I shared with someone who is going through a hard time in his role at a church where he is a staff member.

I first asked him what he thought he deserved. The question caught him off guard, but he answered it as best as he could. As the conversation continued, this is what I said next.


Look at it.

Look at what you wrote

Take it all in.

You have assembled some very honest feelings of frustrations.

Frustrations that haven't been solved and are snowballing.

An avalanche is coming... within you.

So let's hit pause on it for a moment.

Second question.

Tell me about why you came to this church.


God called us there, I know that


Simple enough.


If God called you there...

it was because there is a need...

people who need to be redeemed...

people who need to grow...

to embrace Him...

to stop being petty...

to see Him for who He is...

to see themselves for who He says they can be and really are...

to understand their role in this world...

to not settle for playing church, but to rise up and BE the Church...

and it takes someone called by God...

someone like you...

to help them see that.


you do.


you are called.


until God places the same level of calling on you to leave...

that He put on you to come...

you should not go anywhere.

(hang with me)

Your wife is getting tired.

You are getting tired.

"These people are a stiff-necked people." - God to Moses

"These people are a stiff-necked people." - God to you

This... is... ministry.

It isn't easy.

It's often hard.

It's often harder than hard,.

But this is ministry.

Yes... we want those accolades.

It should be natural for your pastor to pray with you.

But again... he's insecure.

(We all are, actually.)

And since you see that, you are called to minister to him.

If he can't lead from the top down...

you lead from the bottom up.

You take on the very nature of a servant as Jesus did.

And you may get crucified for it...

but you're in Good Company if you do.

Jesus gets it.

Jesus understands.

And Jesus has asked you to join Him in reviving a group of people who are asleep.

Asleep in the church... and asleep in your town.

And it takes one person who is willing to be wide-awake to do it.

Reality check.... you may not see the change while you are there.

It may take years before you get an email that says, "Thanks for what you did. God changed my life because of it."

But that email will come.

Because you love God, and God loves you and wants to work through you.

You serve. You serve with 100% of your effort for the glory of God. And if they become petty and want to get rid of you, they will. But it won't be because you gave them a reason.

That will be their sin. Your sin would be buying into it.

Don't let their angst create angst in you.

And don't leave until God tells you.

Have you ever seen people just "up and leave" a church for the wrong reasons? Or stay for the money and job security - even more wrong reasons?

What do you make of what I challenged this young man with? I know it's not the American way, but is it the Gospel?


  1. dead on tony. we all need to challenge each other when at this point. best line...last line...and don't leave until God tells you. well said.

  2. So perfectly put. I have a member on my team in a similar position (I gather...). I'm going to pass this on to her. Thanks so much!