managing vs. creating your reputation

Someone at the SyFy Network must say on a daily basis, "What's the worst movie ever? Okay, let's air it, and anything that sounds remotely like it after it."

For every "Mongolian Death Worm" and "Sharks in Venice," there are thousands of ideas that don't make the cut. I like a lot of science-fiction movies, but sometimes they seem to be made for YouTube instead of an actual audience.

As I was looking at the implication of what was yet again on TV, I realized this challenge:

Consider the reputation you think you have, versus the one you're creating.

"These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead." (Revelation 3:1) 

 There are essentially three ways to handle who you appear to be versus who you are:

1) Manage your reputation to look good even when it isn't. Surround yourself with only people who agree with you or are too afraid to confront you. This way you'll think you've convinced yourself of something you'll never truly convince yourself of.

2) Actively monitor what people are saying about you. You may end up turning your friends into your own personal "Google," asking them "What did she say? What did he say? What did she say about what he said?"This will be an awkward life to manage - believe me, I know from personal experience. It's far better to realize people don't think about you as much as you'd like to think they do (in order to "plot against you," of course).

3) Proactively be someone who pleases God's heart and practically adds to His world. The only real way for people to not poke at your life and pop the false bubble you're creating is to become solid. There's a huge difference between a negative reputation with a few positive comments versus a positive reputation with a few negative comments.

Unfortunately, there will be times where you have to address real or false accusations. Some of us have spots on our record we may always have to answer for, while other times we may simply deal with others who would rather grumble about their perceptions than work things out permanently.

That is all secondary to the primary task of simply being the person God create you to be. Don't be afraid to carry the cross of putting out content that you are living out - which means avoid doing good deeds without actually letting the Lord work good inside of you. People will see through it anyway.

Of course, there may be times that even by doing good you are crucified... and the good news is you're in good company.

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Mark 8:34)

managing time you can't seem to manage

We simply can't fit everything in.

There are only 24 hours in each day, even when we feel like we have 48 hours of things to do. For the all the frustration that causes, however, there is a liberating truth:

You do have enough time to do everything God wants you to do.

Recently someone asked me "How do you pull off everything you seem to pull off in a single week? And by 'you' I mean YOU? Seriously you are one active guy."

I answered that I'm not sure there is a science to it, except that I keep my priorities clear - Jesus Christ, Katie, kids, and everyone/everything else (in that order). Somehow that alone anchors me and God helps me bend without breaking.

Another person followed up by asking, "How does one stay focused on our priorities? I think most of us get that they are supposed to be in that order, we just need a liitle help keeping it that way :) (Seriously, how???)"

Again, there is no "how" as much as there is a "Who" - let me use a metaphor.

I remember as a kid seeing movies like "Alice in Wonderland" or "Labyrinth" where a character was running through a maze that they couldn't find their way out of. Usually there would be an aerial shot in the scene to show you (the viewer) something they couldn't see - a birds-eye view of the maze. I always wondered as a kid if I could shout out to them where to go to help them out.

The good news is that God does the same thing for us in our busyness.When we feel like we don't know which way to turn (i.e should we cut back an hour on work to spend with our family, or should we cut back on relational time to increase professional time, etc) we have One who both shouts and whispers to us.

The problem, of course, is that God isn't MapQuest. He won't give you a turn-by-turn instruction on everything, but He will speak into your heart clear values that He wants you to use to know what to cut back on and what to increase today, or tomorrow, or the next day.

Let's face it - you and I only see the maze... but God sees the whole thing. He can restore your vision to what really matters without stealing away your freewill to make choices.

Andy Stanley wrote a great, short book on this called "Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide?" We all have to temporarily "cheat" people in our lives from what they hope from us, from work and family to our responsibilities and our extracurriculars. The catch is to make sure no one feels permanently "cheatED" in the process.

Imagine asking your family to hold a large rock because you need them to assume a burden you can't for a moment - they can hold it for a while, but you need to make sure you grab back the burden before they get worn down.

So that's why a priority list or mission statement like I mentioned is key. We need to make sure we don't give the most important people, starting with God, our leftovers. They need to get our best, because they in turn help us to become "whole" at giving our best to the rest of the world. Likewise, there is something about entering a busy season with something further down your priority list and knowing that those at the top are okay with it because you have first attended to them.

Again, though - God isn't just a religious priority, or even a "line item" on your list. He is the One who sees the maze, so absolutely start with Him. Prioritize your growth with the Lord, from taking active part in His Church to simply being still and knowing He is God. There is a reason He gives His Holy Spirit to people who receive Him as Savior and Lord... because He cares and knows we need more insight than what we can see.

That's it - no "one-size fits all" strategy... but priorities that you keep priorities, and constantly ask questions about to ensure the order is in the right order. That alone is what determines what you need to say "YES" to again that you've been putting off, and what you need to say "Not now" to that you have been protective of doing because you like it. Keep in mind, what you change today you may change back in a week - not because you're fickle, but because you are on a journey.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins. (James 4:13-17)

hate mail and blah, blah blah

This week I received my first official piece of "hate mail" regarding my weekly newspaper column. It just so happened that I got it after having written this week's article (but before it was published for him to read it) - ironically on the subject of how we as a culture have taken less to holding our tongue versus spewing out our grumpiness.

I know it's common to copy and paste things on Facebook, Twitter or blogs that shows how smart we are versus how dumb others are, be it politicians, co-workers, customers, local businesses or neighbors.

We are more apt to cry about feeling short-changed than we are to become the change we want to see in the world.

This is why I attempted to reach out to the person who wrote me, although I have not received any response. I honestly wonder if it's even a real email address or a manufactured one, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and ask to hang out locally so we can have a conversation about his feelings and thoughts.

I wonder if he'll take me up on it... or if he was merely interested in a drive-by blast.

Meanwhile, I have a favor... can you and I please become less interested in proving how intelligent we are and how idiotic others are? We get it - you're a Republican and Democrats are stupid; or you're a Democrat and Republicans are stupid; or you're an independent and everyone else is stupid; and so on.

And likewise, you were mistreated at a place of business... and they are dummies, dummies, dummies. Or you were offended that a church didn't meet your needs, because that's what they're "supposed to do."

I apologize for the edge, but not for what I hope it does in a surgical manner. We are accomplishing nothing by merely becoming recycle banks for derogatory content, and could instead use that energy to start something productive.

I heard something a couple of days ago that struck me - people complain about drug houses and gun houses in neighborhoods, but the reality is if you or I would have put something positive there instead they drug house or gun house couldn't have gone there.

Hmm.

So please read this week's article: If You Can't Say Something Nice

And... let's remember that we are capable of more than posting yet another "blah, blah, blah" rant or "hate these people with me" boycott that really does nothing to build bridges but only erects fences.

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions." (Proverbs 18:2)

bland faith

People often talk about blind faith, but what about bland faith? After all, this is more common in our culture.

It's "Casual Christianity" or "seasonal religion" - God on "my terms, when I feel like it... which isn't that often." It is like almost eating an amazing steak and stopping short half-way between the plate and your mouth... and then wondering why we haven't tasted anything "worthwhile" in Jesus Christ. Or it's putting it on your teeth, but never swirling it around in your mouth - instead, you stay guarded so you can spit it out.

If you won't commit to the meal, is it any wonder why you may be missing out on the flavor?

Bland faith doesn't belong in our lives any more than blind faith does. Open your eyes, and open your mouth. Or as it says in Psalm 34:8 said it most clearly, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

different sides of the parking lot

Last week I shared several pics I've taken of vanity plates I've seen around town. Then I got this email... read the caption in the graphic, and then check out the contrasting pics.