easy ways to pretend to exercise

Not ordering fries counts as exercise, right? 

Because it seems like there comes a point in life when we get tons of mental exercise thinking up creative ways to avoid physical exercise. We may know better, yet it seems like our conversations internally are:

Me: "I’ll do literally anything to lose weight."

Common sense: "Eat less and exercise."

Me: Except that.

Then there's the conversation with our doctor:

Doctor: “Do you exercise?”

Me: “Like, do you mean do I strut around my kitchen and play the air guitar to 'Born in the USA' once a month when Pandora randomly plays it? Uh, yeah. I exercise.”

Last week I hit the gym twice a day for five days in a row. It was awesome.

This week I've hit the gym a total of two times. By all appearances, I'm falling behind. Except, maybe I'm not - because last week's goal was possible last week. This week's goal is to hit the gym at least four times because I have a different schedule. So I'm halfway there with 3 days left to do it. I'm going to celebrate the two, and work toward at least two more.

Physical health needs grace AND goals. So my practical thought for you is to allow for both. Look at your week, consider what would be a stretchy-yet-obtainable goal, and step toward it. Celebrate what you do, learn from what you don't, and then upgrade your goal next week through the right adaptation. Don't lose the heat, but move it around.



And to help you laugh a bit along the way, look for some easy ways to pretend to exercise. :)

• Did you fall out of your office chair? You had to pick up your whole body weight to stand up and sit back down again. That sounds like a pull-up.
• Does your breakfast entail peeling an egg or an orange? Seems like you're standing up in a fixed position... probably isometric exercise in some way.
• You know when Netflix asked if you were "still watching" after 6 hours of not moving on the couch? Well, you had to reach for the remote, so.... you know, "stretching."
• Remember when someone shared something with you and you considered their point of view? That's called "walking a mile in their shoes."  Take that, Fitbit.
• Twice a year... when you have to "spring forward" and "fall back?" Yeah, I'm pretty sure you see where I'm going there...
• Cook bacon. A lot. And when the smoke detectors go off, and you have to wave pillows at them to get them to stop, that'll get your heart rate pumping. Plus, you know... "bacon."
• Walk around a local gym and poke your nose into the classes to determine why you won't be doing that one. Then count that, because it means you're just getting that much closer to figuring out what your weekly routine won't be.
• Did I mention that cooking bacon trick yet?

In all seriousness, get creative and have fun staying on the path. You'll know when you're stretching the truth (and no, it doesn't count as exercise) but you'll also know that you're being human to yourself. And maybe you'll stick with your goal because you get that even having a goal can get you started toward it.

Because people who eat garbage, never exercise, smoke cigarettes and drink booze want you to know that exercise programs are a scam and don't work.

Meanwhile, change into some sweats, put on your headphones, listen to some music, sit on an exercise bike, read a book, text some encouraging thoughts to friends and 30 minutes of burning calories will have flown by.

Dear friend, I’m praying that all is well with you and that you enjoy good health in the same way that you prosper spiritually. (3 John 2:1)