feeling icky?

Feeling icky?

I have been. For the past 5 days I've had some sort of hacking cough thing when I go to bed. To make sure Katie can sleep and do her job in the morning, I've opted to sleep on the couch. It's worked out, but I've not been getting deep rest.

This is in light of a personal goal to workout twice a day (once in the morning and once at night) for at least five days this week. My plan was do it Monday through Friday, and rest on the weekend. I was nailing it, despite feeling worn down, until yesterday.

I woke up and my body demanded that I sleep longer. The momentum of "doing well" now had to deal with the momentum of "not feeling well."

And so I looked at my calendar and realized I could move some things around. So I took half of a sick day, and realized it was just what I needed.

But... there was an emotional hit in there, too. I don't want my personal 2020 Reset to be something that goes the way of typical New Year's Resolutions, where I start strong and then drizzle out. I'm not out of sight of what I'm hoping for, because I still have other days this week to hit my goal. And maybe this sounds like a simple or shallow frustration compared to other things you're trying to navigate. I get it.

Because many years ago I was in the middle of a year-long emotional dry spell. And then I heard someone share how they were in the middle of a two-week emotional dry spell, that they then came out of. And I thought to myself, "Must be nice."

Feeling icky?

Specifically, emotionally icky?

• It may be prompted by something you can't control, like your body not letting you achieve what you hope for or someone at work putting you into a box you don't want to be put into. If so, look for what you can still do even if you can't do what you originally planned to do. Shifting around your plans doesn't mean you need to lose sight of your goal.
• It may be prompted by something ongoing, like a financial hole you can't fill or a loss you don't know how to get over. There's no quick wisdom on this, but I do believe that there are things we can do in each moment to out-truth our funk. It's the difference between letting the hurdle define you versus refine you. 

You may not know this, but some of the more famous people in the Bible at times felt like they were at the end of what was possible. After Moses put his life on the line to free the Israelites from Egypt, they whined and grumbled just about every day. He cried out to God:

"Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!” - Numbers 11:13-15

A man named Job lost his health, loved ones and money, and he yelled:

"Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?"  –Job 3:11

A prophet named Elijah who was bold in one moment got so depressed that he said:

“I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” - 1 Kings 19:4

Each of these people had emotional health hurdles. And yet each of them dug deeper beyond the moment by fixing their eyes on God.

You are not alone. We all have small, medium, large and extra-large emotional funks. But we also have the freewill to cry out to Someone beyond us.

Feeling icky? There is hope.

Maybe you can't hit your goal today. Or maybe you can hit a sliver.

Don't lose sight of what matters... because you matter.

"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit!" (Hebrews 12:1)