some extra credit reading

On the heels of my last post and another I put up along those lines, here is some commentary from Seth Godin on critics.

processing success and failure

This past weekend I enjoyed the challenge that three different voices shared in our service - one of which included a teenager named Will. He shared a story he heard from one of the Indianapolis Colts players and the pressure that team felt just after winning the Super Bowl to "do it again next year." We're talking the very next day.

It reminded me of how just a couple months back the largest TV audience in U.S. history watched Santonio Holmes make the Super Bowl game-winning catch with just 35 seconds left on the clock. And it was no ordinary 6-yard TD catch - the QB lofted a pass over the fingertips of a Cardinals defender toward the back-right corner of the end-zone where Holmes grabbed it well above his head to fall back down, barely scrape the end-zone grass with both cleats, and then crash down out of bounds. Those few inches of weight via his toes helped the 24 year old and his team rewrite history, garnering six Super Bowl wins. Perhaps this is why Holmes easily became the MVP of the game and was featured on many talk shows to recap the play.

Two things have intrigued me about these slices of life.

When all was said and done, Holmes didn't go out and party with the players but instead took his kids to the hotel and watched Madagascar 2. Given his trouble earlier in the year with marijuana, that's an intriguing and positive choice. I hope it continues to be his trend.

One play before all of this hoopla, though, Santonio missed. The ball went right through his hands in the end zone, causing the commentators to question his ability to pull it off.

Just as Santonio made Superbowl history in a positive way, he could have also made Super Bowl history in a negative way.

During an interview on the Tonight Show, Holmes said, "When I sat down, I gathered all my thoughts like, 'Man, I just really lost the Super Bowl for us.' You know, that's what was going through my mind. We got back into the huddle... and [our] coach called that play - that was the play we had been working on all post-season. You know, we never used it - I think we only used it one time in the game actually. And when he called that play I thought, 'This is my chance to score that touchdown.' Ben went through his progression and I don't think he could have placed a more beautiful pass than that."

The officials had some doubt whether his feet were on the ground, but Santonio wasn't.

"I was 110% sure that my feet were on the ground. I made sure they didn't leave the ground once I extended my hands to reach up for the ball, and the ball just game. After seeing the guys - the defenders - actually like swatting their hands in the air, I was like 'These guys are about to pick this ball.' But my eyes never left the ball. My focus was there, the ball touched my glove, and I knew right then and there that I had a touchdown."

All of this is what Santonio is being known for these days. He's even partnered with Reebok to auction off the winning gloves for sickle cell research. And just like the Colts, Holmes is already dealing with the pressure to keep performing to keep the talk up. He's in good company, too:

• In 2008: New York Giants receiver David Tyree made another one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history, using his helmet to reel in a pass from Eli Manning during a game-winning drive that squashed the undefeated Patriots.
  
  
• In 2006: Another Steelers wide receiver, Antwaan Randle El, showed off his versatility by throwing a perfect 43-yard trick-play touchdown to Hines Ward that helped seal Pittsburgh's 21-10 victory over Seattle. Randle El didn't make $500,000 that season. In the next two seasons, as a member of the Washington Redskins, he made over $5 million... even though many Redskins fans would question why.
  
• In 2004: Patriots wide receiver Deion Branch had a career-making game in New England's thrilling 32-29 Super Bowl win over the Panthers. The little-known receiver caught 10 passes for 143 yards and a touchdown and won the MVP award.

Any one of those players could have missed, and that is what is amazing about this issue of failure and success. It is something Type-A's and Type-B's struggle with, but in different ways.

• For the typical Type A, the competitive drive can really cause a sense of loss that becomes a hard attack on how they think (which in turn affects identity).



• The average Type-B will feel a different kind of loss through the sensitivity of feelings, creating tension in their relationship to others and self (again, affecting identity).

Without a "greater perspective," the play that takes you backward can become the play that takes you down... and you may have missed out on the play that could have taken you into the end zone.

But that's not the real lesson... that you should just "keep playing." The real lesson is that you need a Voice bigger than your failure - and your success. I've learned that if I let people have a voice of affirmation into my life, I am more inclined to let their voice of criticism.

The average person reading this won't have a moment in the NFL to catch such a pass. But they will deal with success and failure in the workplace, at home, and among friends. When that pink slip shows up in the mailbox, it can play with your head; when your family questions your integrity, you can begin to do the same; when friends seem to want nothing to do with you anymore, you can take their own issues personally.

A question - what will the loudest voice in your life be?

Will it be the fickle cheering and booing of the crowd...

or will it be the One who says you're worth something no matter what?

The success or failure of that is a pass that is headed straight for your hands.

from a former newsboy

One of the more successful bands in Christian circles has been the Newsboys, who just this week made a transition of front-man leadership. It's not the first time, though, for about a decade ago the original front man - John James - transitioned out as well. His comments below are music-centered, but I dare you to read them in your context:

"You've gotta understand. You've got a bunch of young guys that one moment we're tanning on the beach in Mooloolaba and some years later we're in one of the biggest Christian bands around. The success, the fame, the money, the screaming girls, the autographs. It's like, how do you deal with that? How do you process that? You're in this schizophrenic lifestyle where you're surrounded by thousands of fans that are wanting to touch the very sweat that falls from your brow. They're wanting your autograph. They're wanting to reach out and grab you.

And then I'm meant to come home and make the transition from this surreal, schizophrenic, adrenaline-packed lifestyle to come home to be a dad and a father
and a husband. And I found that after a period of time I wasn't able to make that transition back to normality of lifestyle. There wasn't anyone mentoring or helping me to deal with this, mentally or emotionally. It's like you've got people that surround you and help you to become successful but no-one really mentored us in regards of how to keep our heads in check.

I don't care who you are, you put ANYBODY in that sort of environment for long enough and unless you have countermeasures to help you process and deal with that, man it's gonna mess you up big time! And over a period of time it began to take it's toll. Only in little things. It doesn't happen overnight. Maybe a value dropped here. A standard lowered here. But it began to eventually take its toll on my marriage - the pressure of it."

I can see the parallel in many professions, from my friends who once were in ministry but no longer are to people who defined themselves by a job or role in the household that no longer is the same.

Do you see it in your life? What would happen to your sense of worth and everyday purpose if you couldn't tell the difference between what you produce and how it affects people around you... versus who you are without it?

Even if whatever you were doing was a really, really good thing?

But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. (1 Samuel 15:22)

pony up

I spoke with a few folks this past week who need to be reminded of this story:

There are twin boys of five or six. Mom was worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities -- one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist -- their parents took them to a psychiatrist.

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears.

"What's the matter?" the psychiatrist asked, baffled. "Don't you want to play with any of the toys?"

"Yes," the little boy bawled, "but if I did I'd only break them."

Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands.

"What do you think you're doing?" the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled
by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist.

"With all this manure," the little boy replied, beaming, "there must be a
pony in here somewhere!"

a friday quote:

Surviving and ministering during a crisis is more than just the crisis itself. Relationships are huge before, during, and after it happens. While we can't be there for everyone in every event to the same measure, we can be in quality relationships with others around us that help us truly minister. Here's one example of how it works:

After Columbine, one of the reasons we were so effective was that we were there before it happened. In fact, one of the members of our team was actually in the cafeteria when the shootings took place. A bunch of us joined with the parents who were waiting at the elementary school down the street. Then for the next several weeks, about 17 hours a day, we were just with kids. From attending funerals and memorial services with students to simply hanging out with them, we were just with them.

- Heather Snodgrass (former Young Life leader at Columbine High School,
'98-'04), taken from Youthworker Journal's article Caring Amidst Crisis, Mar/Apr 2009

a friday quote: greatness

I saw today's quote as a preface to an episode of Clone Wars.

Yeah... that's right... Clone Wars.

Great insights on leadership are often found in the oddest of places. That's something I've learned - don't ever put your mental notebook down, even when you put it down.

(That sounded like something Michael Scott would say)

In any event, here it is.

Great leaders inspire greatness in others.

(blank) you

This is a short slice from an interview I recently did with Len Evans. The topic had to do with how I transitioned from one way of serving God to another. I hope there's a takeaway for you in this:

You know, there’s this famous painting by Georges Seurat where he used millions of little dots to illustrate a public park and the people in it. I realized that ministry is just like that - when I would say, “I love students,” it was like all I could see was that one little dot in my calling. What God began to reveal in me during those very hard years of being “in between” church roles was that we often get so focused on our dot that we fail to see the bigger picture.

So what happens when God asks you to start painting in a completely different spot? Does He have that right if in the past you were sure He’d called you to ________?

This is hard teaching God gives us.

No, really... think about it - this is hard, hard, hard teaching God gives us.

We are quick to fill in the blanks of our soul with stuff we did in the past, when the best thing we can do is leave them blank. The last thing that gave you a sense of worth may very well get in the way of the hole inside you that God intentionally wants to fill with Himself. And often the people around us think our choices to wait on God are foolish - especially when there is a tough call to make.

Perhaps you went to school for ______, but your life ended up with you doing ----------.

Or maybe you believed that the relationships closest to you would be ________, but instead they've ended up being @!*#;&.

And the opposite can be true, too... for a lot of us, we have intentionally settled for a life of ++++++++, but God has a ________ that starts with Him, ends with Him, and is through Him... and your lesser lifestyle is holding back from a fully-alive existence.

Here's what you need to remember - while this does affect you, you are setting a bar for others in these choices. We are naturally all inclined to live life at the lowest common denominator, which is why when someone chooses to embrace grace as it's intended to be used - to connect with a Holy God - we create a stablity around us simply by being who He is making us to be.

Don't be deceived - God would much rather have you filling in the blanks of your life with Him versus anything you would do for Him.

We are, after all, human BEings... not human DOings.