Embarrassment is a timely teacher.
But only if you let humility
turn you into a permanent student.
Even in a cancel culture,
there is power in
solely own your faults
versus doubling-down
on your pride.
Showing posts with label success/failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success/failure. Show all posts
timely embarassment
f.a.i.l.
Your failures will either become...
excuses you camp out on
or
foundation you launch up from
(Guess who gets to decide that?)
Things can always gets better."Just not fast enough," we think.
Some things feel like they'll never change.
But better to try than write it off altogether.
(Guess who gets to decide that?)
what success requires
Success is not an accident.
Success is a choice.
That's a powerful thought that's floating around.
Consider the example of Steph Curry:
What are you doing with the opportunities in front of you?
Success is a choice.
That's a powerful thought that's floating around.
Consider the example of Steph Curry:
"I’ve always been a believer that the Lord has put whatever talent in you, [and] whatever gift He has put in you, He wants you to get the most out of that. He wants you to succeed; He wants you to pursue and work and be passionate about it. It’s not about getting any of the glory for yourself; it’s all for His [glory]. That’s where you have to keep perspective. Work at it and do all you can so you get the most out of yourself, but do it for His will." - FCA interview
What are you doing with the opportunities in front of you?
"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." (1 Corinthians 9:25)
a new year of new living: the landowner
I wrote this parable more than 15 years ago, and happened to share it this past Sunday. On the heels of my previous two posts, here is something to read and ponder in your own life.
---
The Landowner
A man naively and arrogantly purchased a new house. It was on an expansive piece of useful farmland, which he reasoned was an impressive addition to the great deal he had haggled for on the house. All of this on paper seemed like a great idea... except this man was a businessman and not a farmer.
This new landowner decided to use his free time to work out in the fields. He got up early on the first Saturday morning he had free because he'd heard that’s what farmers do. With a canvas bag of tools over his left shoulder and a “Farming For Dummies” book in his right hand, the man walked out into the farmland like a quarterback about to take the field.
Four hours and four-hundred callouses later, the man determined "that" was enough "of that."
So the great piece of land sat out there, empty and barren. Each day the man would get up to go to work and drive past its expansive emptiness. A nagging guilt set in, for as a businessman he knew it was more than a wasted field - it was a wasted profit.
Perhaps that's why one day he sat down and devised a new plan to put the immense field to productive use. He divided the land into several slots to rent to outsiders needing a place to plant their items. They would pay back to the him, the landowner, a percentage of the profits they made. It seemed like the perfect plan to address the depression of the undeveloped property.
That is, it "seemed" like the perfect plan. The man still didn’t understand the finer aspects of farming, including the aspects that involved large machinery. He inadvertently divided each section of land in such a way that the various farmers had to literally plow over another farmer’s section to get to their own.
No one realized this at first, as they only knew where their boundaries ended and assumed that paths had been laid out for such an issue. Eventually it all came to a head and fights became common. Farmers that had to get to their areas in the middle would trudge over the other farmers’ areas, and those farmers would react by spitefully doing the same to the middle farmers’ land in order to “get even.”
That year yielded very little in terms of crops. The farmers couldn’t get past their own demands, didn’t want to replant the prospective crops, and consequently gained no profit... a hard financial loss felt very much by the landowner... who eventually called the project a failure. With a complete sense of defeat, he reasoned he’d have to find a way to learn to live with the guilt of a failed project that would stare him in the face every day.
That is, until the day when the old farmer came, knocking on his door step.
“Son,” he said, “Looks to me like you have a problem managing your fields.”
“You’re telling me!” said the man. “It’s just not worth my time.”
“What if I promised you that it was?” hinted the old man. “You could make more than an adequate share of profit by following my plan. That land out there that’s wasting away because you don’t know how to handle it... doesn’t have to.”
This sounded rather interesting to the man, as he was indeed tired of seeing things go to waste. But as all “sharp” businessmen must ask, naturally so did he: “What’s the catch?”
“Well, ‘the catch’ is simply this... you turn land ownership over to me, and I will let you live on the property for free, take care of all expenses, and share with you a profit so great that it will revolutionize the way you live.”
The man waited for a laugh that never came to what he presumed had to be a joke. “Are you kidding me?” asked the man. “You actually expect me to give up MY land for some profit that I can’t see? What if I don’t gain anything? I’ll have lost my property over some bad deal! You must be crazy...”
“I’m not finished,” interrupted the old farmer, “You can cancel the deal at any time. But if you do, you gain nothing except the land back. This is the only condition: you gain no profit by canceling... just the land again, to deal with all over on your own.”
Maybe it was the exhaustion of his failure, or maybe there was something genuine about the farmer. For whatever reason, the man found himself surprised that he was even thinking about it. “So let me get this straight... I give you the land, and I get a huge profit on anything you make on it. But if I change my mind at any time, I get back the land and just lose any ‘profit’ you might make?”
The farmer smiled, “Son, it’s not profit ‘I might make’; it’s profit ‘We will make’.”
"You'll put this in writing?"
"I sure will. But you also have my word."
And as the man looked at the old farmer, he knew there was more to this man than age. There was experience, and confidence out of that experience. “You know what,” said the man, “I have no clue how you're going to do it, and maybe that's why I'm even considering this. With your escape clause, I see no way that I can lose. Besides, you probably know more about farming than I do and can squeeze a few bucks out of this place. Okay... it’s a deal.”
It wasn’t too long before what was a torn and battered field once again became a clean, fertile opportunity for growth. The businessman kept an eye out, and would watch how every day the farmer would come and invest his time tending the fields. At first the business man was skeptical, all the while noting on paper what sorts of changes the farmer was making. Yet the more he looked each day, the more he saw that the field was being shaped into the best it could be, most likely, he assumed, because it was being shaped by the best hands.
When it came time for harvest, the business man anxiously awaited to see what sort of profit he had gained by this investment. And when he did... he was shocked.
“All of it?” he asked. “What do you mean I get to keep all of it?”
The farmer smiled. “I mean that you get to keep all of it, son. All the profits, every harvest... it’s all yours.”
“But that’s incredible! This is more than enough!”
“I know,” shared the farmer. “That was the idea.”
“So what do you get?” asked the man. “Don’t tell me you did all of this for nothing.”
“I’ll tell you something,” said the farmer, “I do gain something. I gain seeing a beautiful piece of property not go to waste. Don’t take this the wrong way, but son... you were destroying this property.”
“No offense taken,” he said.
“Good,” the farmer continued, “because I love farming. I do it well. And after you let me invest myself into developing this land, I was able to take it from a burden to a blessing. There’s nothing like doing what you were created to do because you’re being who you were created to be.”
The business man was amazed. “I have no idea what you mean. I mean, I do... but I've just never known that kind of fulfillment. Just tell me one thing, though... why did you have to take ownership of the land? Couldn’t you just have asked me to hire you? I know I’ve gained so much, but I still don’t get why I had to give up the land.”
The farmer smiled his familiar smile and said, “Son, if I didn’t own the land, the harvest wouldn’t have been even half of what it was.”
Puzzled, the man asked, “Why is that?”
“Son, if I didn’t own it, I couldn’t freely make the adjustments I’d need to in order to shape it up. I’d have to keep checking in with you, asking you if it was okay to make decisions you know nothing about. You’d keep poking your head in, and son... we both know you’re not a farmer.”
“Alright, alright,” said the man. “Just tell me how I can pay you back. You’ve given me way too much for me to just sit around and not do anything for you.”
And with that question, the farmer knew his work had not been wasted. For it was not a field that he had been tending to, but a man’s heart. Every day that he labored out in the fields to produce a profit he would not claim was another day spent ripening the soil of this man’s soul. And the harvest of this kind of crop, a willing heart, would yield more than anything he could produce out in the field.
So with a tender spirit, the old farmer answered the man’s question. “Son, I’m a farmer. I help get peoples’ fields in order. You’re a business man... you help get peoples’ business in order. You have skills and gifts the Lord gave you that others need, just as I had the skills and gifts that you needed. Son, now that your fields are straightened out, you go love your neighbor and help him with what you do best.”
The farmer smiled, turned and walked out of the house whistling a familiar tune.
The man... well, you know what he did.
Because it's what you would do.
---
The Landowner
This new landowner decided to use his free time to work out in the fields. He got up early on the first Saturday morning he had free because he'd heard that’s what farmers do. With a canvas bag of tools over his left shoulder and a “Farming For Dummies” book in his right hand, the man walked out into the farmland like a quarterback about to take the field.
Four hours and four-hundred callouses later, the man determined "that" was enough "of that."
So the great piece of land sat out there, empty and barren. Each day the man would get up to go to work and drive past its expansive emptiness. A nagging guilt set in, for as a businessman he knew it was more than a wasted field - it was a wasted profit.
That is, it "seemed" like the perfect plan. The man still didn’t understand the finer aspects of farming, including the aspects that involved large machinery. He inadvertently divided each section of land in such a way that the various farmers had to literally plow over another farmer’s section to get to their own.
No one realized this at first, as they only knew where their boundaries ended and assumed that paths had been laid out for such an issue. Eventually it all came to a head and fights became common. Farmers that had to get to their areas in the middle would trudge over the other farmers’ areas, and those farmers would react by spitefully doing the same to the middle farmers’ land in order to “get even.”
That year yielded very little in terms of crops. The farmers couldn’t get past their own demands, didn’t want to replant the prospective crops, and consequently gained no profit... a hard financial loss felt very much by the landowner... who eventually called the project a failure. With a complete sense of defeat, he reasoned he’d have to find a way to learn to live with the guilt of a failed project that would stare him in the face every day.
“Son,” he said, “Looks to me like you have a problem managing your fields.”
“You’re telling me!” said the man. “It’s just not worth my time.”
“What if I promised you that it was?” hinted the old man. “You could make more than an adequate share of profit by following my plan. That land out there that’s wasting away because you don’t know how to handle it... doesn’t have to.”
This sounded rather interesting to the man, as he was indeed tired of seeing things go to waste. But as all “sharp” businessmen must ask, naturally so did he: “What’s the catch?”
“Well, ‘the catch’ is simply this... you turn land ownership over to me, and I will let you live on the property for free, take care of all expenses, and share with you a profit so great that it will revolutionize the way you live.”
The man waited for a laugh that never came to what he presumed had to be a joke. “Are you kidding me?” asked the man. “You actually expect me to give up MY land for some profit that I can’t see? What if I don’t gain anything? I’ll have lost my property over some bad deal! You must be crazy...”
“I’m not finished,” interrupted the old farmer, “You can cancel the deal at any time. But if you do, you gain nothing except the land back. This is the only condition: you gain no profit by canceling... just the land again, to deal with all over on your own.”
Maybe it was the exhaustion of his failure, or maybe there was something genuine about the farmer. For whatever reason, the man found himself surprised that he was even thinking about it. “So let me get this straight... I give you the land, and I get a huge profit on anything you make on it. But if I change my mind at any time, I get back the land and just lose any ‘profit’ you might make?”
The farmer smiled, “Son, it’s not profit ‘I might make’; it’s profit ‘We will make’.”
"You'll put this in writing?"
"I sure will. But you also have my word."
It wasn’t too long before what was a torn and battered field once again became a clean, fertile opportunity for growth. The businessman kept an eye out, and would watch how every day the farmer would come and invest his time tending the fields. At first the business man was skeptical, all the while noting on paper what sorts of changes the farmer was making. Yet the more he looked each day, the more he saw that the field was being shaped into the best it could be, most likely, he assumed, because it was being shaped by the best hands.
When it came time for harvest, the business man anxiously awaited to see what sort of profit he had gained by this investment. And when he did... he was shocked.
“All of it?” he asked. “What do you mean I get to keep all of it?”
The farmer smiled. “I mean that you get to keep all of it, son. All the profits, every harvest... it’s all yours.”
“But that’s incredible! This is more than enough!”
“I know,” shared the farmer. “That was the idea.”
“So what do you get?” asked the man. “Don’t tell me you did all of this for nothing.”
“I’ll tell you something,” said the farmer, “I do gain something. I gain seeing a beautiful piece of property not go to waste. Don’t take this the wrong way, but son... you were destroying this property.”
“No offense taken,” he said.
The business man was amazed. “I have no idea what you mean. I mean, I do... but I've just never known that kind of fulfillment. Just tell me one thing, though... why did you have to take ownership of the land? Couldn’t you just have asked me to hire you? I know I’ve gained so much, but I still don’t get why I had to give up the land.”
The farmer smiled his familiar smile and said, “Son, if I didn’t own the land, the harvest wouldn’t have been even half of what it was.”
Puzzled, the man asked, “Why is that?”
“Son, if I didn’t own it, I couldn’t freely make the adjustments I’d need to in order to shape it up. I’d have to keep checking in with you, asking you if it was okay to make decisions you know nothing about. You’d keep poking your head in, and son... we both know you’re not a farmer.”
“Alright, alright,” said the man. “Just tell me how I can pay you back. You’ve given me way too much for me to just sit around and not do anything for you.”
And with that question, the farmer knew his work had not been wasted. For it was not a field that he had been tending to, but a man’s heart. Every day that he labored out in the fields to produce a profit he would not claim was another day spent ripening the soil of this man’s soul. And the harvest of this kind of crop, a willing heart, would yield more than anything he could produce out in the field.
So with a tender spirit, the old farmer answered the man’s question. “Son, I’m a farmer. I help get peoples’ fields in order. You’re a business man... you help get peoples’ business in order. You have skills and gifts the Lord gave you that others need, just as I had the skills and gifts that you needed. Son, now that your fields are straightened out, you go love your neighbor and help him with what you do best.”
The farmer smiled, turned and walked out of the house whistling a familiar tune.
The man... well, you know what he did.
Because it's what you would do.
your title or your influence?
I once worked in a job where I feared for my job... everyday. And I wasn't alone.It wasn't because of the economy, and it wasn't because we were all bad employees.
It was because our boss was insecure and came across like a lion to everyone. He was someone who only cared about the idea of success than in creating the environment for it.
I've been in the exact opposite situation, though. I've served in church staff teams where we were so inspired by the character and direction of our main leader that we climbed over ourselves to be a part of what he was up to.
It's the difference between transactional relationships versus transformational relationships:
- Transactional relationships:
- You focus on what needs to happen.
- You're concerned with the appearance of non-failure.
- You spend your time one-upping each other.
- Transformational relationships:
- You focus on who each person is becoming.
- You're concerned with the health of people.
- You spend your time sacrificing for each other.
- T: Take the initiative in your own life first - become the person you want others to be.
- R: Raise your eyes - set your focus on things above versus things of the earth (Col 3:1-4)
- A: Ask others questions - find out who they are and what they're most concerned about in life.
- N: Nurture conversation - set up regular lunch times where everyone gets together to chat.
- S: Say the mission - don't just nod your head at what's on the wall, but use it in conversation.
- F: Face people - don't multitask during conversations (close the laptop and turn off your phone).
- O: Own mistakes - if you know you did something wrong, apologize right away.
- R: Raise standards - stop using the phrase "That was good enough."
- M: Mind your mind - introduce people to new thoughts and ideas that can lead to change.
- Title: Parent, spouse, employer, employee, customer, teacher, student, pastor, tither, guest, regular, etc
- Influence: Your integrity, your passion, your relationship with God, etc
The most important [commandment],” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31)
when a fallen leader hops up with closed eyes
There are three things I need to confess before I go anywhere with this, and then I'm going to unleash a fury of frustration.
First, I am a man who knows the temptation of sin. Just like you, there are certain things that I have let into my mind, heart, soul, and body over the years that I tend to struggle with more than other types of sins. They are my "familiar temptations," and I have confessed them out loud and in private to both God and people so that I might develop a strong defense against their offense. Sometimes they come at me because I've allowed them to hang out inside of me in the past, like a dirty dog that you've fed who won't leave the porch as he keeps scratching at your door. Other times they are nothing short of a clear attack from the devil himself, because he has decided I am someone he wants to take out of commission.
Second, I know what it means to be suddenly yanked away from familiar surroundings that you have found a sense of self-worth in. There was a time when I found security and identity in what I did, or a name plate on the door, or a desk and office I resided in, or the fact that people said "Pastor" before they used my name. Those things felt real good, and on various occasions when I have had to leave such a role - be it for the right reasons or someone else's reasons - I know the struggle of not being able to scratch those itches. It's painful, and it makes you want to grab anything or anyone to scratch them again, even if it's the equivalent of a dirty piece of metal that ends up cutting you open in the process.
Third, I am fed up - actually, can I say it? pissed off - at the immaturity among "leaders" I have had to endure in ministry. I wish I could tell you in this cozy spot of a blog exactly what I mean, but I can't. For one thing, there isn't enough space. And for another, there are people whose privacy my silence continues to protect so that they may grow forward (which means in in some cases that I know more than the average person who only sees the past leader with nostalgia).
(pause)
Wow. I'm pretty worked up.
Now...
what triggered all of that?
I just read an email and it reminded me of how unfortunate it is when a fallen leader hops up with closed eyes. By "leader" I mean someone who has been allowed by others to speak into their lives, which means that as their spiral down began they took others with them (be a loss of innocence, the "final straw" where they no longer trust such leaders, or something else more damaging). And after that former leader has genuinely fallen, rather than letting God do the hard-yet-much-needed work of giving their life new direction they choose to jump into the next thing to scratch their old itches.
Again, I "get" this temptation all to well. I speak as someone who has had to make that same choice several times over the years that perhaps you have... do I act with self-righteous immaturity because I feel wronged or do I slow down, stop, and see if it's time to grow up in some area. By God's grace, each time I've opted for letting the Lord take His scalpel to me. That's not a statement of pride, by the way, but of surrender. I made this choice not because I'm better than anyone, but because (to the contrary) I know I needed it.
I knew it would be bloody... I knew I would lose parts of myself that I rather liked but God found ugly... but I also knew that He could do such surgery better and more effectively if I was still. Otherwise, He'd be trying to cut into me with the blade as I struggled to run away from Him, and that would only create more cuts and scars than were originally needed.
So that said, I share this email about a man whom I've never met and don't know the fullness of his situation. Such a context would usually demand (in our culture) that we just "forgive and forget" or "don't judge" - neutral and lame defense mechanisms that we often opt for when we're too chicken to challenge another person toward hard growth (or allow their imperfections to remind us of our own). But I don't take my cues from this culture, which means that I'm going to stretch in a different direction - one that says, "Yeah, grace, but also holiness."
You may be familiar with the story of Ted Haggard (and if you aren't it's up to you to Google it). It's been three years since he stepped down from being a pastor, which (again) seems like enough time in our culture for him to begin pastoring again. Why would anyone want to stop him from doing so since he's "obviously gifted?" After all, he was a "great pastor," wasn't he?
This is written from the perspective of a man who sees something that the fallen leader does not and refuses to. I have great empathy and prayer for what follows:
There is a reason we cheer for the underdog... we know somewhere deep within that it is not in our original destiny to be down. So when someone who genuinely should be "on top" has such an opportunity, we cheer them on.
This is different, though. This is not an underdog scenario, but rather a rebellious rejection of the role of the Master. Mr Haggard, it seems, would rather surround himself with people who will tell him what he thinks versus what he must hear.
And that... will affect more people than just himself. That will tell others that they don't have to deal with the stuff in their life that needs to be dealt with, but rather they can ignore it and call it Christianity. And that will ultimately create a hypocrisy within Mr Haggard that he will choose not to acknowledge so he can "be a pastor again."
I know I am being harder in this post than I usually am. I run the risk of offending some who would rather I take the carefree position of "Mind your own business."
Fair enough. Let's look at the Scripture most people whip out for a quick defensive quote without fully-embracing the rest of it.
In this instance, Mr Haggard won't even allow others to look at the speck of sawdust in his eye as he has closed them shut so that not even he can see it.
Okay, I've made my point. I can go on, but at this point it would be nothing more than an extended remix of what I have just shared. And I also know that I have just opened up a magnifying glass into my own life. Whenever one raises awareness of God's standards, he/she is the first one to be compared to it.
That's fine... bring it on. Judge me... please. Please, please, please... judge me. Not in a labeling sense, but in an evaluative and restorative sense. Push me in places I will box with you to stay out of, because a leader can only lead when he has learned how to follow, and I so desperately want to follow Jesus.
Judge me, not because my life is perfect, but because it isn't...
and I have familiar temptations...
and I welcome (and need) your accountability.
Let's not lower the bar in what it means to lead. Let's keep it right where God put it and grow up into that.
First, I am a man who knows the temptation of sin. Just like you, there are certain things that I have let into my mind, heart, soul, and body over the years that I tend to struggle with more than other types of sins. They are my "familiar temptations," and I have confessed them out loud and in private to both God and people so that I might develop a strong defense against their offense. Sometimes they come at me because I've allowed them to hang out inside of me in the past, like a dirty dog that you've fed who won't leave the porch as he keeps scratching at your door. Other times they are nothing short of a clear attack from the devil himself, because he has decided I am someone he wants to take out of commission.Second, I know what it means to be suddenly yanked away from familiar surroundings that you have found a sense of self-worth in. There was a time when I found security and identity in what I did, or a name plate on the door, or a desk and office I resided in, or the fact that people said "Pastor" before they used my name. Those things felt real good, and on various occasions when I have had to leave such a role - be it for the right reasons or someone else's reasons - I know the struggle of not being able to scratch those itches. It's painful, and it makes you want to grab anything or anyone to scratch them again, even if it's the equivalent of a dirty piece of metal that ends up cutting you open in the process.
Third, I am fed up - actually, can I say it? pissed off - at the immaturity among "leaders" I have had to endure in ministry. I wish I could tell you in this cozy spot of a blog exactly what I mean, but I can't. For one thing, there isn't enough space. And for another, there are people whose privacy my silence continues to protect so that they may grow forward (which means in in some cases that I know more than the average person who only sees the past leader with nostalgia).
(pause)
Wow. I'm pretty worked up.
Now...
what triggered all of that?
I just read an email and it reminded me of how unfortunate it is when a fallen leader hops up with closed eyes. By "leader" I mean someone who has been allowed by others to speak into their lives, which means that as their spiral down began they took others with them (be a loss of innocence, the "final straw" where they no longer trust such leaders, or something else more damaging). And after that former leader has genuinely fallen, rather than letting God do the hard-yet-much-needed work of giving their life new direction they choose to jump into the next thing to scratch their old itches.Again, I "get" this temptation all to well. I speak as someone who has had to make that same choice several times over the years that perhaps you have... do I act with self-righteous immaturity because I feel wronged or do I slow down, stop, and see if it's time to grow up in some area. By God's grace, each time I've opted for letting the Lord take His scalpel to me. That's not a statement of pride, by the way, but of surrender. I made this choice not because I'm better than anyone, but because (to the contrary) I know I needed it.
I knew it would be bloody... I knew I would lose parts of myself that I rather liked but God found ugly... but I also knew that He could do such surgery better and more effectively if I was still. Otherwise, He'd be trying to cut into me with the blade as I struggled to run away from Him, and that would only create more cuts and scars than were originally needed.
So that said, I share this email about a man whom I've never met and don't know the fullness of his situation. Such a context would usually demand (in our culture) that we just "forgive and forget" or "don't judge" - neutral and lame defense mechanisms that we often opt for when we're too chicken to challenge another person toward hard growth (or allow their imperfections to remind us of our own). But I don't take my cues from this culture, which means that I'm going to stretch in a different direction - one that says, "Yeah, grace, but also holiness."
You may be familiar with the story of Ted Haggard (and if you aren't it's up to you to Google it). It's been three years since he stepped down from being a pastor, which (again) seems like enough time in our culture for him to begin pastoring again. Why would anyone want to stop him from doing so since he's "obviously gifted?" After all, he was a "great pastor," wasn't he?
This is written from the perspective of a man who sees something that the fallen leader does not and refuses to. I have great empathy and prayer for what follows:
My response?MR. HAGGARD AND HIS NEW CHURCH
On Thursday evening of this week, there was, for all intents and purposes, a new church plant in our town of Colorado Springs. Ted Haggard gathered a group of people in his home for a prayer meeting that will, in time, constitute a nucleus for that new church.
And so, it is nearly three years to the day from Mr. Haggard's admission to indiscrete behavior — that resulted in his resignation as senior pastor of New Life Church — that a new congregation begins, located just one mile from the church he once pastored.
The irony of all of this is that, from the very beginning, Mr. Haggard had been counseled to go to another city, complete his restoration program, experience healing in his family and with his addiction, and only then begin again. But, he has made a choice not to do that.
We, who were members of his restoration team and those who served New Life Church as overseers, wish he would not do this. We feel it to be insensitive to a church that provided generously for him and his family for over a year after his misadventure. But, more than that, he violates his own words that he would not begin a new church. Evidently, he changed his mind a week or so ago, and now calls the new endeavor a church rather than a Bible study.
Pastor Brady Boyd, the present senior pastor of New Life Church, has been very gracious to Mr. Haggard. As I talk with Pastor Boyd, there is more concern expressed for Mr. Haggard than there is about the new church plant. Let me ask you:
From what you know about the Ted Haggard situation — and knowing it is a free country — would you consider Mr. Haggard's actions proper and ethical? How would you respond if Mr. Haggard asked for your opinion? Please, let us know at pastors@family.org.
Prayers should be offered for all parties involved.
Be blessed and be a blessing. —HBL
There is a reason we cheer for the underdog... we know somewhere deep within that it is not in our original destiny to be down. So when someone who genuinely should be "on top" has such an opportunity, we cheer them on.
This is different, though. This is not an underdog scenario, but rather a rebellious rejection of the role of the Master. Mr Haggard, it seems, would rather surround himself with people who will tell him what he thinks versus what he must hear.
And that... will affect more people than just himself. That will tell others that they don't have to deal with the stuff in their life that needs to be dealt with, but rather they can ignore it and call it Christianity. And that will ultimately create a hypocrisy within Mr Haggard that he will choose not to acknowledge so he can "be a pastor again."
I know I am being harder in this post than I usually am. I run the risk of offending some who would rather I take the carefree position of "Mind your own business."
Fair enough. Let's look at the Scripture most people whip out for a quick defensive quote without fully-embracing the rest of it.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.Yes, Jesus said not to judge. But He didn't just say that, because He said that the purpose of noticing another's sin isn't to look down on them for it. Rather, it's to recognize it's danger to them and others... only AFTER you've been willing to put yourself through a similar process. The Scripture doesn't say we shouldn't evaluate ourselves, for at the very end of the section it speaks about making proper evaluations about the state of others' relationship with God and what kinds of "holy things" they should be playing with.Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:1-6)
In this instance, Mr Haggard won't even allow others to look at the speck of sawdust in his eye as he has closed them shut so that not even he can see it.
Okay, I've made my point. I can go on, but at this point it would be nothing more than an extended remix of what I have just shared. And I also know that I have just opened up a magnifying glass into my own life. Whenever one raises awareness of God's standards, he/she is the first one to be compared to it.
That's fine... bring it on. Judge me... please. Please, please, please... judge me. Not in a labeling sense, but in an evaluative and restorative sense. Push me in places I will box with you to stay out of, because a leader can only lead when he has learned how to follow, and I so desperately want to follow Jesus.
Judge me, not because my life is perfect, but because it isn't...
and I have familiar temptations...
and I welcome (and need) your accountability.
Let's not lower the bar in what it means to lead. Let's keep it right where God put it and grow up into that.
Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. (James 3:1)
Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. (Titus 1:7-9)
some extra credit reading
On the heels of my last post and another I put up along those lines, here is some commentary from Seth Godin on critics.
processing success and failure
This past weekend I enjoyed the challenge that three different voices shared in our service - one of which included a teenager named Will. He shared a story he heard from one of the Indianapolis Colts players and the pressure that team felt just after winning the Super Bowl to "do it again next year." We're talking the very next day.
It reminded me of how just a couple months back the largest TV audience in U.S. history watched Santonio Holmes make the Super Bowl game-winning catch with just 35 seconds left on the clock. And it was no ordinary 6-yard TD catch - the QB lofted a pass over the fingertips of a Cardinals defender toward the back-right corner of the end-zone where Holmes grabbed it well above his head to fall back down, barely scrape the end-zone grass with both cleats, and then crash down out of bounds. Those few inches of weight via his toes helped the 24 year old and his team rewrite history, garnering six Super Bowl wins. Perhaps this is why Holmes easily became the MVP of the game and was featured on many talk shows to recap the play.
Two things have intrigued me about these slices of life.
It reminded me of how just a couple months back the largest TV audience in U.S. history watched Santonio Holmes make the Super Bowl game-winning catch with just 35 seconds left on the clock. And it was no ordinary 6-yard TD catch - the QB lofted a pass over the fingertips of a Cardinals defender toward the back-right corner of the end-zone where Holmes grabbed it well above his head to fall back down, barely scrape the end-zone grass with both cleats, and then crash down out of bounds. Those few inches of weight via his toes helped the 24 year old and his team rewrite history, garnering six Super Bowl wins. Perhaps this is why Holmes easily became the MVP of the game and was featured on many talk shows to recap the play.Two things have intrigued me about these slices of life.
When all was said and done, Holmes didn't go out and party with the players but instead took his kids to the hotel and watched Madagascar 2. Given his trouble earlier in the year with marijuana, that's an intriguing and positive choice. I hope it continues to be his trend.
One play before all of this hoopla, though, Santonio missed. The ball went right through his hands in the end zone, causing the commentators to question his ability to pull it off.
Just as Santonio made Superbowl history in a positive way, he could have also made Super Bowl history in a negative way.
During an interview on the Tonight Show, Holmes said, "When I sat down, I gathered all my thoughts like, 'Man, I just really lost the Super Bowl for us.' You know, that's what was going through my mind. We got back into the huddle... and [our] coach called that play - that was the play we had been working on all post-season. You know, we never used it - I think we only used it one time in the game actually. And when he called that play I thought, 'This is my chance to score that touchdown.' Ben went through his progression and I don't think he could have placed a more beautiful pass than that."
The officials had some doubt whether his feet were on the ground, but Santonio wasn't.
"I was 110% sure that my feet were on the ground. I made sure they didn't leave the ground once I extended my hands to reach up for the ball, and the ball just game. After seeing the guys - the defenders - actually like swatting their hands in the air, I was like 'These guys are about to pick this ball.' But my eyes never left the ball. My focus was there, the ball touched my glove, and I knew right then and there that I had a touchdown."
All of this is what Santonio is being known for these days. He's even partnered with Reebok to auction off the winning gloves for sickle cell research. And just like the Colts, Holmes is already dealing with the pressure to keep performing to keep the talk up. He's in good company, too:
- In 2008: New York Giants receiver David Tyree made another one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history, using his helmet to reel in a pass from Eli Manning during a game-winning drive that squashed the undefeated Patriots.
- In 2006: Another Steelers wide receiver, Antwaan Randle El, showed off his versatility by throwing a perfect 43-yard trick-play touchdown to Hines Ward that helped seal Pittsburgh's 21-10 victory over Seattle. Randle El didn't make $500,000 that season. In the next two seasons, as a member of the Washington Redskins, he made over $5 million... even though many Redskins fans would question why.
- In 2004: Patriots wide receiver Deion Branch had a career-making game in New England's thrilling 32-29 Super Bowl win over the Panthers. The little-known receiver caught 10 passes for 143 yards and a touchdown and won the MVP award.
Any one of those players could have missed, and that is what is amazing about this issue of failure and success. It is something Type-A's and Type-B's struggle with, but in different ways.
- For the typical Type A, the competitive drive can really cause a sense of loss that becomes a hard attack on how they think (which in turn affects identity).
- The average Type-B will feel a different kind of loss through the sensitivity of feelings, creating tension in their relationship to others and self (again, affecting identity).
Without a "greater perspective," the play that takes you backward can become the play that takes you down... and you may have missed out on the play that could have taken you into the end zone.
But that's not the real lesson... that you should just "keep playing." The real lesson is that you need a Voice bigger than your failure - and your success. I've learned that if I let people have a voice of affirmation into my life, I am more inclined to let their voice of criticism.
The average person reading this won't have a moment in the NFL to catch such a pass. But they will deal with success and failure in the workplace, at home, and among friends. When that pink slip shows up in the mailbox, it can play with your head; when your family questions your integrity, you can begin to do the same; when friends seem to want nothing to do with you anymore, you can take their own issues personally.
A question - what will the loudest voice in your life be?
Will it be the fickle cheering and booing of the crowd...
or will it be the One who says you're worth something no matter what?
The success or failure of that is a pass that is headed straight for your hands.
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