rethinking our mission statements and values

Richard Branson is nothing short of a Type-B conundrum in the world of Type-A leadership gurus. I'm working through his book "The Virgin Way" right now. This quote caught my eye:

"Before anyone tries to come up with a mission statement... there is the little matter of actually considering your company's commitment and ability to live up to it. If neither of these conditions is present then there's no point in trying to 'put lipstick on the pig' by means of a fanciful, pie-in-the-sky mission statement."

What values in your life do you swear you hold to...

but your commitment and ability to follow through on them don't seem to be growing into those values?

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.(1 John 4:20)

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. (James 1:26)

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. (James 2:14-18)

dressing up your emotions

Feelings are a lot like the clothes we wear. 

Some people change their wardrobe on a whim. Others hang onto things that are clearly meant to be given up. There are those who wear the same basic outfit each day, protective over what they're used to. Another group of people make everyone else uncomfortable with how naked they seem to be.
 What should be "donated" for the sake of "charity?"

What should be "saved" for the sake of "protection?"

And for that matter, what should we be clothing ourselves in to begin with?

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." (Colossians 3:12-15)

your title or your influence?

I once worked in a job where I feared for my job... everyday. And I wasn't alone.

It wasn't because of the economy, and it wasn't because we were all bad employees.

It was because our boss was insecure and came across like a lion to everyone. He was someone who only cared about the idea of success than in creating the environment for it.

I've been in the exact opposite situation, though. I've served in church staff teams where we were so inspired by the character and direction of our main leader that we climbed over ourselves to be a part of what he was up to.

It's the difference between transactional relationships versus transformational relationships:

• Transactional relationships:
• You focus on what needs to happen.
• You're concerned with the appearance of non-failure.
• You spend your time one-upping each other.
  
• Transformational relationships: 
• You focus on who each person is becoming.
• You're concerned with the health of people.
• You spend your time sacrificing for each other.

Every relationship, organization, classroom and work environment tends to run with one of these two models dominating. You can influence that, whether you're at the top or bottom of the totem pole.

• T: Take the initiative in your own life first - become the person you want others to be.
• R: Raise your eyes - set your focus on things above versus things of the earth (Col 3:1-4)
• A: Ask others questions - find out who they are and what they're most concerned about in life.
• N: Nurture conversation - set up regular lunch times where everyone gets together to chat.
• S: Say the mission - don't just nod your head at what's on the wall, but use it in conversation.
• F: Face people - don't multitask during conversations (close the laptop and turn off your phone).
• O: Own mistakes - if you know you did something wrong, apologize right away.
• R: Raise standards - stop using the phrase "That was good enough."
• M: Mind your mind - introduce people to new thoughts and ideas that can lead to change.

In the end, you will influence others either out of your:

• Title: Parent, spouse, employer, employee, customer, teacher, student, pastor, tither, guest, regular, etc
• Influence: Your integrity, your passion, your relationship with God, etc

So... what is your next step to create healthy people instead of yet another power play?

The most important [commandment],” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31)

a treadmill you can't keep up with

It's been said that what you attract people with is what you have to use to keep them interested, constantly outdoing yourself over and over again with a slightly more twisted variety of the last version you produced.

Kind of like a treadmill you can't keep up with.

Perhaps you've seen this in the world you live in, as something as simple as a lie to get attention can quickly become about telling another lie... and yet another.

My oldest son observed that the "second movie" in a franchise or the "second season" of a television series is often a bit darker than the first. As if the creators need to throw out even more crazy things to get the attention of viewers than before.

That kind of lines up with an intriguing New York Times article I read on Miley Cyrus and her latest career maneuvers.  Maybe you heard about her infamous "strip pole" segment at the Teen Choice Awards some time ago, but that's only scratching the surface.

You might think that it would be worried, overprotective mothers who would rebel against the overt sexualization of the teenage star Miley Cyrus, who became a pop phenomenon as Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel hit show. But no. It’s the young girls who think Ms. Cyrus has gone too far. And many of them are moving on.

[ READ MORE ]

This post isn't really about Miley Cyrus, though.  It's about you and me.

Have you ever considered how much energy you spend trying to keep people impressed and interested in your life?  How much of it is surface level, smoke and mirrors?

How much of it is legitimate because something you're allowing something legitimate to happen in you?

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." (Philippians 4:8, MSG)

when your i.q. replaces your q's

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us as people to live our lives amazed at our own brilliance, never letting anyone speak truth and hard love into us?  Rather than asking new questions that might reverse old conclusions, some people live in the comfort that they can't possibly be wrong.

This honestly breaks my heart... for a teachable spirit is more useful in life than an arrogant one. It creates bridges instead of fences; it invites wisdom versus arrogance.

Of course, the second I think I have this right in my own life means I've crossed that very line.

Quite the intriguing tension.

On which side will you tend to live?

Some truths will be learned by foresight and revelation; some truths will be learned by hindsight and tribulation. Most of the time, you choose the path... but it requires humility and a teachable spirit versus arrogance and a sense that you're wiser than everyone else.

Which will you typically run with?

becoming a connector

We all see dots in this world that seem disconnected.  It's because they are... inside of us, around us, and between us.

A "Connector" is someone who steps up to this opportunity.

Someone who takes the seemingly ordinary and helps people see the extraordinary in them... to help those who are asleep in their own indifference to wake up to a deeper reality than what they've perceived... to see the fingerprints of God in a world full of fig leaves that cover Him up.

The secret of being a "Connector" in life, home, family, friends, church: Letting God shift what is happening in you so you can shift the momentum of what’s happening around you through the abilities, skills, and attitude He's placed within you.

Want to to change everything around you in a moment?

Let God change everything in you in this moment.

backward and forward

So it's time to start making your list of all the stuff in your life - habits, routines, lack of routines, and so forth - that goes or stays as you prep to move into 2010.

The kind of list that requires you to pause, look backward, look forward, and look inward. The kind where perhaps you pray a bit, even if you don't normally pray, asking God to show you what you're missing.

For your list, consider:

• What did I accomplish in 2009 that I'm most thankful I did?
• Have I kept a healthy attitude?
  
• Did pride occur?
  
  
  
• What did I miss out on in '09?
• Did I take care of my soul well?
  
• Are my relationships completely honest?

Don't just read this challenge and move on. Seriously - make a list, even if it's only in your brain (although writing it down does help).

Otherwise, feel free to carbon copy whatever was unproductive about this last year... because all of that will likely be showing up again in 2010.

3 things great leaders do that we never forget

According to Jill Geisler, head of the Leadership and Management Group at Poynter, workers trust, respect, and follow the best leaders and managers not just because they’re smart and have influence. She writes:

"There are no flawless bosses. Even the great ones have their quirks. But they possess something that overshadows their shortcomings: the trust of people who choose to follow them."

She goes on to illustrate three things that followers/workers truly value and remember about their leaders:

• How a boss apologizes—Apologies should be sincere, specific, and public when needed. Leaders who admit and apologize for their errors are deemed as stronger.
  
  
• My observation: Consider Psalm 51 - it is a public confession of King David's sin. Did you ever consider that he could have continued to sweep this under the carpet, but instead came out with it?
  
  
  
• How a boss handles an employee’s error—Great leaders know a first-rate employee regrets an honest mistake. The leader listens to and speaks with the employee to learn what caused the error, how to avoid again it in the future, and how to best handle it now.
  
  
• My observation: I have watched what happens when people come to me with behaviors or actions that they feel ashamed of and I try to take the approach Jesus took with the woman caught in adultery. He didn't slam her with a label, but began by calling her "woman." There is something that builds between two people when we respond with dignity in their embarrassment.
  
  
  
• How a boss responds to an important personal life event—Workers never forget when their leader supports them in both joyful and tragic situations such as funerals, weddings, child’s illness, etc.
  
  
• My observation: It drives me crazy when I can't be present for someone's tragedy... because when I have been there I see how significant it is to weep and laugh with someone else. Some of my best friendships - ironically - we deepened by a tragedy.
  

Great leaders work hard to earn the trust of others, but sometimes it's as simple as these three areas. When people see a clear, healthy correlation between a leader’s values and his/her actions, they will never forget.

Where have you seen this play out in your life?

one minute

In recent days I have been slugged at a lot.

I don't share that because I need you to tell me nice things about myself, but because it's true - I have been slugged at a lot. Not just by one person really hard, but by several people in varying ways. It's like the Chinese water torture principle... over time the little jabs from many sources can do more damage than a big frontal attack by one.

Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of letting it get to me. It's like a commander on a battle field who has both feet full of splinters, only he has to keep the battle moving forward. So he has to ignore the little pricks for the sake of the much larger responsibility.

And likewise, I can't fully share the details of who is hurting me and how they're doing it. Some of the people who are being, well... jerks... can I say that? Even if I called them out on it publicly for the right reasons, it would cause others to have to pick sides for the wrong reasons. I am required to have a bigger perspective than that, and while I want to... sometimes that's the hard cross I carry.

The title of this post is "one minute."

Because in all of this I am finding that in every day there is about one minute where this all gets to me. And if you would poke me or jab me, even in innocence, I would turn around and bite your head off - I might even hit you hard and send you to the ground. The frustration and intensity really can become that if I let it.

Keep in mind, it's only one minute, which iover the course of a day full of 1,440 minutes "isn't that bad." I could tell myself that and simply ignore that minute of darkness within, content that it's perfectly fine to have some "justifiable anger."

Or - I could let God deal with that "one minute" until it becomes less than those fiery 60 seconds, whether it completely disappears or progressively is taken over by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Within you today - is there a "one minute" you feel you can justify? Maybe it's "two minutes," or "ten seconds" or "12 hours." You may feel you have every right for it to be there, because you're being poked and slugged and jabbed at by life/people.

Consider...

If your leadership role is parenting, you may bite your kids heads off for no justifiable reasons. Or if you carry workplace responsibility,you will bring insecurity issues into that realm - whether you are working your dream job or feel like a drone. And if you happen to serve in some Church capacity (which applies to every Christian, because wherever you go you represent the Church - like it or not), there is one minute worth of poison in you that must be tended to or else you will spoil the very good things God is up to in your midst.

Trust me on this - TAKE CARE of that "one minute." Bring it before our holy God and let His eternal perspective counteract the temporal one you're stuck in. It probably will require some intentional moments of pulling out those splinters every day, but something tells me that is well worth it to walk with confidence out of the dark as you lead others into the Light.

"See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the light of a lamp shines on you." (Luke 11:35-36)