guest post: my own worst enemy

From Holly Whipple, Next Gen Connection of Connection Church

I often feel like my own worst enemy.

I've at times found myself second-guessing myself and God in my daily thoughts. On the surface level, I "know" the right answers; however, that’s not always what’s going through my mind (which is what ultimately influences how I react in life’s situations).  I can either believe what God has planned for my life, or trust in my voices of doubt. 

I recently quit my job to stay at home with our daughter Julia, and it's amazing how much of a daily battle it's become! Before I quit, Mike and I brought this desire to the Lord in prayer and it was very clear to us that it was His will for me to be at home. However, this week we found out Mike’s car needs a $1000 repair and our leaking bathroom drain will be $700 to repair - both difficult numbers to swallow on a newly one-income family. I seriously doubted if I was supposed to quit my job without having adequate emergency savings ready since I am one to always plan ahead, but I was convicted in my doubt. 

Thankfully, both repairs do not need to be completed immediately and we have the option of waiting to save up to cover the cost of the repairs. However, any outsider looking in wouldn't have known that with the way I made it the end of the world! I've spent much of my time after leaving my job trying to trust in my own ability to make it on one income. This past week it became evident that I can’t do this alone and it was not God’s plan for us to try it that way. 

These thoughts of doubt keep us from focusing on what (Who) really matters. Romans 12:2  made this evident to me this week:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

I need to renew my mind with His word so I can then have confidence in God’s will rather than the doubt that creeps into my thoughts. It is the outpouring of what’s in my heart that can overcome the challenge of doubt.

This is also applicable to the "3 Month Hold-Nothing-Back Challenge" our church is undertaking. The three areas we as Christians tend to try and be in control  (instead of God) are our time, relationships and resources. 

• Our thoughts challenge our free time by telling us we are too busy to set aside time with Him. 
• Our fear of being ‘weird’ when we boldly share our faith with others holds us back.
• Our pocketbooks feel too thin to faithfully give.

What if we instead made time for Him in prayer and study, shared Him with others and generously gave to His work through the church? It is with daily immersion in His presence that we can overcome such conforming thoughts and be transformed into sincere Christ followers. 

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