cursing cussing

Do our words matter more than we think they do?

A friend of mine wondered this out loud. Here's what he wrote:

Someone called me out on FB for cussing yesterday. Agree or disagree with my response?

I don't think cussing is a sin (and I don't find anything in the Bible about cussing), they're just words when u don't have other words. I use them for emphasis. Now if I call someone an a******, yes that would be wrong, but if I called them stupid it's the exact same thing. And that's what bothers me about "religious" people, they'll criticize someone for cussing or having a drink and weigh 500 lbs lol. I'm like, "gluttony" is in the Bible! Jesus said "remove the plank from your own eye before trying to remove the speck from your brother's."

I replied back:

This is a great question. I love that you're asking it. Now that you've had a number of replies, read through your responses back - do you find yourself truly being teachable on this or more defending your original slant? That will be a helpful insight in itself.

I personally went on a journey with this as when I came to Christ I was the "dirty joke teller." It felt like I needed to let Jesus have His way in my life in every area, including my tongue. So I invited Him into this area. Someone once said that the use of profanity is our way of saying, "I couldn't think of an intelligent way to make my point, so I'll use a power word instead." Maybe there's a better way. A couple key passages for me: 

"And do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
I like including the verses before the one that specifically speaks about our language, as I have to first ask, "Am I giving the devil a foothold in my life in any area?" The passage then speaks about how there should be a noted change in our life after coming to Jesus. As if sating, "By the way, that involves your language." The KJV states it, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." The original word there for "corrupt" or "unwholesome" language translates as "rotten" or "of poor quality." 

"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:26-27)
What an interesting challenge to us. On one hand, God loves it when we do good deeds for the world on His behalf, loving and leading people to Him while we care for the poor. On the other hand, all of that can end up being worthless if we don't keep a tight reign on our tongues. James 3 goes into greater detail on this, adding, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?" It adds, "no human being can tame the tongue." 

So it goes back to how we can argue our position on this nor try to get better. It comes down to surrender - will I live as I think it's okay to live and use "grace" to do so, or will I invite the Holy Spirit of God to rewire me from the inside regardless of it's how I would do it?"

That's the key - because I've seen some "non-swearing" people say some pretty harsh things that did incredible damage. Likewise, I've seen some Jesus-loving people fail to invite Jesus into this area of their life and end up short of the full life He's called them into.

I play a lot of online games with my boys, and sometimes I hop into a chat party with some guys who are pretty loose with their tongues. Over time they've noticed I don't swear, and strangely they've adapted their language to not swearing when I'm online... even apologizing when they do. I never asked them to do that, but I found that they for whatever reason were inspired to do so be it by my example or Jesus in me.

God loves you... I'm confident He loves that you're asking this question, too. Stay on the journey. Cheering for you and Jesus in you.

What if the next thing we say is a bigger deal than we realize?

Because it often actually is.

a sideline insight

A sideline insight:

What God does in you on the sidelines is as important as what happens under the lights on the field.

Just make sure you're in the arena either way.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

- Theodore Roosevelt

judge this

When you inappropriately judge another person, you appropriately define yourself.

This doesn't mean we're not to evaluate what comes out of someone and determine a reasonable response. Some avoid doing even that out of fear of offending another person, which (according to culture) is the "worst thing you could possibly ever do."

Is it?

Jesus never once suggested (including within the often misquoted "Judge not, lest ye be judged" statement) that we have no authority to make evaluative conclusions about human behavior. Rather, the authority comes from Him and His standards as we live out mutual accountability... it's to be two-sided and not full of lop-sized hypocrisy. Even within our "Who are you to judge me?" culture, we must push through our fear of offending someone by helping them see their blind spots and growing through them... we must believe this is important.

Is it?

The line, which I fundamentally proposed, is to become aware of how your healthy evaluation can easily get off-track and become an unhealthy, locked-in summary of who you think this person is. You can begin to see him/her as a "snob" when compared to your "humility," or as a "low life" when compared with your "morality." You will start to pride yourself on your ability to see through people, without realizing how you've become amazed at your own brilliance regarding the dullness you see in other people.  You will apply this to people above you, below you and next to you.

Of course, none of this probably applies to you. It likely just applies to someone else. This blind spot isn't at all a part of who you are, how you connect with others and the sass by which you approach the world.

Is it?

"Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor." (Matthew 7:1-5, The Message)

guest post: my own worst enemy

From Holly Whipple, Next Gen Connection of Connection Church

I often feel like my own worst enemy.

I've at times found myself second-guessing myself and God in my daily thoughts. On the surface level, I "know" the right answers; however, that’s not always what’s going through my mind (which is what ultimately influences how I react in life’s situations).  I can either believe what God has planned for my life, or trust in my voices of doubt. 

I recently quit my job to stay at home with our daughter Julia, and it's amazing how much of a daily battle it's become! Before I quit, Mike and I brought this desire to the Lord in prayer and it was very clear to us that it was His will for me to be at home. However, this week we found out Mike’s car needs a $1000 repair and our leaking bathroom drain will be $700 to repair - both difficult numbers to swallow on a newly one-income family. I seriously doubted if I was supposed to quit my job without having adequate emergency savings ready since I am one to always plan ahead, but I was convicted in my doubt. 

Thankfully, both repairs do not need to be completed immediately and we have the option of waiting to save up to cover the cost of the repairs. However, any outsider looking in wouldn't have known that with the way I made it the end of the world! I've spent much of my time after leaving my job trying to trust in my own ability to make it on one income. This past week it became evident that I can’t do this alone and it was not God’s plan for us to try it that way. 

These thoughts of doubt keep us from focusing on what (Who) really matters. Romans 12:2  made this evident to me this week:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

I need to renew my mind with His word so I can then have confidence in God’s will rather than the doubt that creeps into my thoughts. It is the outpouring of what’s in my heart that can overcome the challenge of doubt.

This is also applicable to the "3 Month Hold-Nothing-Back Challenge" our church is undertaking. The three areas we as Christians tend to try and be in control  (instead of God) are our time, relationships and resources. 

• Our thoughts challenge our free time by telling us we are too busy to set aside time with Him. 
• Our fear of being ‘weird’ when we boldly share our faith with others holds us back.
• Our pocketbooks feel too thin to faithfully give.

What if we instead made time for Him in prayer and study, shared Him with others and generously gave to His work through the church? It is with daily immersion in His presence that we can overcome such conforming thoughts and be transformed into sincere Christ followers. 

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