Over the years, I've been asked by different church leaders how to understand if they should stay or go when it comes to their church role. I was recently asked this again, and so I wanted to share some nuggets that I believe matter in these moments.
Before you decide to leave, it's always good to do a checklist. This can serve you just as well even now to make sure things are healthy... because maybe you really shouldn't leave.
You may need to read that last part again.
I like the wisdom Jeffrey Johnson offers on this:
- Have you studied the marks of a healthy church?
- Have you committed to being active and faithful members?
- Have you made sure you don’t have a submission problem?
- Have you endeavored to do your best to keep the unity of the faith?
- Have you considered that you may be the voice of change?
- Have you sought forgiveness and reconciliation?
- Have you talked with the leadership of the church?
- Have you sought the blessing of the leadership of the church?
- Have you considered that the grass may not be greener on the other side?
- Have you prayed about it?
So all that said, what are my own thoughts?
Personally, I believe before you leave you need to (in addition to continual prayer):
- Seek God for the actual wording of why you're leaving. You need to be able to keep it simple and not try to fill in all the gaps people will inquire about - this isn't about you creating a crowd to validate you, but about you offering what is essential so that it isn't overshadowed by what's non-essential.
- Approach your church elders for their advice on how to lead well to gain cultural wisdom. They may offer you a great piece of wisdom on how to address anyone who needs an upcoming conversation from you.
- Turn your teaching into handoffs. Don't focus on giving your favorite sermons, but on content that shows how the church is a Body (i.e. Acts 1&2, 1 Corinthians 12, etc)
- Ask your church leaders to help you see your own blind spots before you plug into your next local church. This may feel awkward and you will be tempted to replay their words to defend it, but even if they're wrong you for some reason gave off a certain vibe that they concluded something from... so own it.
- Express written gratitude to those who have poured into you. Put it down in a creative and meaningful way so they know what they have meant to you.
- Don't make any promises to your current "regulars" about still being there for them. If you need to go, you need to let them let you go. It's hard, but they need to seek new mentors/leaders.
I mentioned prayer on the front end. I'll tag it here, too. Always be praying.
Just some quick thoughts out of many years of living this. Hope this helps!
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:3-6)
