on the firing of a friend

Once upon a time, a company named Youth Specialties was born. The world of youth ministry was never so blessed by a group of crazy, wide-eyed believers who thought that you could enter the life of a teenager in the name of Jesus and help turn their hearts toward Him. They believed this could be accomplished through many avenues... be it through props and object lessons or contemplative prayer and creative worship outlets.

A whole generation of pastors emerged out of this movement... people who caught that vision and realized it was the same one God was birthing in their hearts.

It wasn't too long ago that Youth Specialties and the entire world of youth ministry had a tragic lost when one of its co-founders, a guy named Mike Yaconelli, died in an unexpected, tragic way. The staff of this flagship organization felt the loss, and then rallied together to honor God.

Times become tough, though, and soon YS entered into a relationship with Zondervan. For those of you who may not know, this is another flagship ministry in the Christian world - specifically in the products, resources, and occasional events they put forth on a regular basis. The new umbrella of this parent organization meant (and perhaps, still means) some of the old will have to adjust to the new.

As a reflection, more recently, another key leader - Tic Long - stepped out of his role at YS. Tic was a former YS President who in recent years had assumed duties that took him into the heart of the YS events. When this happened, other positions were also eliminated. This also was a hit, and the staff rallied together to honor God.

And then this week, the President of YS - affectionately known as "Marko" - was let go by the parent organization Zondervan. And again, the staff is rallying together to honor God.

While much can be said on the negative side (and already has been), I just want to convey my absolute respect and prayers for everyone involved who is attempting to turn this into a God thing... in every hurt and hit.

Sometimes Christian businesses convey "Christ." Other times they convey "business."

In my opinion (and experience), it should always be the former.

Always.

That doesn't mean you don't act as a business, but it means that even when you do you need to convey Christ.

I know after all that build up I have presented, I should conclude with an opinion about what has happened. Pardon me for sidestepping that, but I am simply not in the position to do so. In fact, hardly anyone is... because we simply don't know all the details.

So to take my own advice - and perhaps to give some - that's it... that's all I have to say about that. I have reached out as God has led me to my friend Marko, but I am often struck by the temptation to become a peanut gallery beyond God's leading.

So... may God be honored in what has happened, is happening, and will happen.

And may that include those of us on the sidelines.

do you like me? if so, check this box - pt 3

Postlude: Lessons learned.

Perhaps this is the point where we freely admit that some churches and candidates do operate this way while others tend to have a healthier approach. If you are one of the churches that are doing things right you will know it by fact that the people you interact with feel blessed to have gotten to know you (regardless of whether or not the job works out). On the other hand, if your dismissal communication is nothing more than a letter to the people whom you have built a more personal relationship with, you may want to remember that the church is to operate like a church – not a business.

To the prospective candidates, though, you don’t get off the hook quite so easily. Many churches have become impersonal because we invited it by our behavior. As hard as it might be to hear, their rejection of you isn’t intended to sound like a panel of judges from some overrated reality show. Rather, treat every interview as a chance to get to know the “Church” better while getting to know the “church” along the way.

Whether you are looking for a candidate or looking for a church, consider the insights below as a few thoughts you may want to process:

Time moves differently for people than it does for churches. When you’re unemployed and waiting for someone to call you back on a job, the phone can never ring quickly enough. In the same way, if you’re a church and have been trying to fill a position for quite some time you may not know that your congregation’s sense of instability may cause many to leave before you complete a lengthy search process.

• A piece of advice for search teams: If you have the choice between calling a candidate “now” versus “later,” keep in mind that someone may be counting the moments until you call. If something comes up that keeps you away from the candidate (i.e. having to bring in a certain number of applicants for a visit), remember to stay in social contact. Even asking for weekly prayer requests lets the person know you are interested in him/her beyond the job.
  
  
• A piece of advice for candidates: Don’t read into silence as anything other than busyness on the other end. While it is easy to give up hope if you don’t get the call you’ve been looking for, look for a way to bloom where you are planted. Even if you’re unemployed you still have opportunities for ministry all around you. Keep an eye out for them and stay networked to friends whom you can share prayer requests with.

Keep all communication balanced. No one likes to be broken up with through an answering machine, roommate, or spouse. Once I had someone end an interview process by sharing the news with my wife. He later recanted this choice and even offered me the job. I would challenge you to take courage, face the awkward moment with the individual, and end in prayer. This may just be good old-fashioned etiquette, but if you’ve had a phone interview with someone don’t end the relationship with a letter. While this may be fashionable among adolescents it is in poor taste in an interview process.

• A piece of advice for search teams: While you may have several phone conversations with candidates, break them up among your search team. In this way if it doesn’t work out it isn’t up to one person to do all of the calling.
  
  
• A piece of advice for candidates: Make the most of every opportunity to communicate the different facets of who you are. A church is interested in your skills, but most will want to know about your family, hobbies, and dreams, too. Make the most of every medium to show who you are spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and physically (so wear your favorite shirt).

Look for the diamond in the rough. Whether it’s the paradigm of hiring a female in a male-dominated profession or getting past the stereotypes you experience when reading denomination history, give everyone the kind of grace you would hope for in an interview.

• A piece of advice for search teams: We all have bumps and learning curves in our past that either have crippled us or strengthened our muscles. You won’t know which of these it is until you take the time to find out with an open mind. Instead of asking “Are we comfortable with his/her track record?” consider the question “Do we see integrity in how he/she has handled success and failure?”
  


• A piece of advice for candidates: Look for the right DNA match but don’t expect it to come in the packaging you expect. I had a mentor challenge me when I asked him to keep an ear out for any “progressive churches” looking to hire. He gently yet firmly asked, “Are you above serving sacrificially in a small church?” Ouch.

Walk with intentional integrity. Whether it’s the paradigm of hiring a female in a male-dominated profession or getting past the stereotypes you experience when reading denomination history, give everyone the kind of grace you would hope for in an interview. This includes being up front with any controversial issues and speaking of your past relationships in the most positive way possible.

• A piece of advice for search teams: If you already have a candidate in mind, don’t take a group of other men and women through an unnecessary process. While you may want to show your congregation that you jumped through all the right hoops you may have inadvertently misled the emotions of several others.
  


• A piece of advice for candidates: I will freely confess that one of the reasons my resume has a few different churches on it is because I have been an immature imbecile on more than one occasion in my life. I’d argue, though, that being able to track these moments has helped me to grow through them. There’s nothing like calling a former boss on the phone or having lunch with a congregation member so that you can ask for forgiveness and perspective. Take a good inventory of your life and see if there are any hard conversations you need to have. Who knows – perhaps the reason someone is calling your references is so that you have to ensure you have done all your relational “business.”

Remember that the church should operate differently than a business. Ultimately we look to the Holy Spirit (not corporate America) for our cues, even if it means doing things that seem unnecessary. I’ve really been touched when those whom I’ve built a friendship with in an interview process continue to contact me after the journey together has ended. After all, isn’t the Kingdom of God more about building people and less about filling jobs?

• A piece of advice for search teams: Many ministers have spouses and families that are connected to every conversation you have. Take advantage of the chance to get to know them during phone calls and visits. While they may not want to be interviewed (nor should you attempt to do so), they will most likely appreciate simply being asked, “How can we be praying for you?”
  


• A piece of advice for candidates: Don’t settle for a job in a church when you can instead pursue a God-sized ministry. Likewise, it is in poor taste to string anyone along while you wait for a better option. If you aren’t called to a church don’t pretend you are. Instead, be up front and suggest another candidate. It may create an awkward moment in an interview when you hit the brakes, but in the long run they will appreciate your honesty.

Of course the list can go on, but the bottom line is that we need to be real from the start. There is no value in presenting yourself for more than you are if you desire an opportunity where you can be the person/church God has called you to be. We can all read up on what are the “right things” to say or ask in an interview, but what you really want to know, though, is how failure in handled in life, family, and ministry. If you end up looking for the person or church that will spice up your resume or give you a form of professional security you just might find yourself more frustrated six months down the road.

On that note, it’s not a bad idea to be sure anything critical ends up in writing. Churches need to know the intent of a pastor’s heart, whereas individuals need to know what is expected out of a typical week of work. You’d be surprised how much anger can be avoided if everyone has defined and agreed upon what “success” for this position will look like on a daily, weekly, seasonal, and yearly basis.

If you’re out there right now, don’t lose hope – God has a plan for you. Instead of waiting for tomorrow and how this will all get resolved consider pondering “who am I becoming” or “how is this season affecting our church?” Deep down in your heart you know you that the temptation to fill a role with/as another “yes man” who simply nods at the latest idea will starve the life out of the church.

Ministry is more than lip service or clever articulations that make people think they hired the right guy or gal for the job. Rather, an authentic minister of the Gospel is one who is wrestling with the Text and submitting to the Spirit of the God who doesn’t always work in nice, tidy ways. Perhaps this creates a longer resume, but at the end of the day you will be able to look in the mirror and know you have given all of who you are for all of who He is.

Bottom line? If you want a paycheck or want to hire someone with secular skills, go canvass your local mall. However, if the words below make any sense to you, though, keep praying for the future and ministering in the present.

But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9)

do you like me? if so, check this box - pt 2

Do You Like Me? - Take 2: The Candidate

Stage 1: Identifying the need.

Charlie began his first year as an eighth grade public school student with enthusiasm. Having been home schooled for several years, he wondered what it might be like to launch into an unfamiliar environment alongside people whom he’d never met before. Yet while it would have been easy for him to slip through the cracks, his good looks and charismatic personality brought him to the top of the social circles. When the first school dance was announced, every student started to feel the pressure to attend. Charlie realized he would have to come up with a plan to find his first official date.

Charlie began his first year as a professional minister with enthusiasm. Having been in college and seminary for several years, he wondered what it might be like to launch into an unfamiliar environment alongside people whom he’d never met before. Yet while it would have been easy for him to slip through the cracks, his good-looking resume and charismatic personality brought him to the top of the pile among churches. When the school year ended, every graduating student started to feel the pressure to find a job by the fall. Charlie realized he would have to come up with a plan to find his first official pastorate.

Stage 2: Writing the pitch.

As Charlie sat down to prepare his list of “dream girls,” he knew that his past was in his favor. Having had experience talking with girls in his home school co-op made him less intimidated by the whole process than his peers, not to mention the fact that his older brother was known to be a “cool high schooler.” Taking advantage of this, he planned to send out a vibe to a dozen or so girls that he assumed would go out with him if they were available. He also sent an e-mail to the friends whom he had met over the past month, asking them (with a somewhat cocky spirit) to put the word out that he was “available.” Before going to bed, he perfected the opening line he planned on using in his conversations with prospective girls: “Are you interested in knowing you’ve chosen a date for the dance who is going to spoil you like crazy?”

As Charlie sat down to prepare his list of “dream churches,” he knew that his past was in his favor. Having internship experience with mega-churches made him less intimidated by the whole process than his peers, not to mention the fact that his home church was known to be an innovative trendsetter. Taking advantage of this, he planned to send out a resume to a dozen places that he assumed would hire him if any openings were available. He also sent an e-mail to several pastors whom he had met over the years, asking them (with a somewhat cocky spirit) to put the word out that he was “available.” Before going to bed, he perfected the opening line he planned on using in his cover letter with prospective churches: “Are you interested in knowing you’ve chosen a pastor for your church who is going to spoil you like crazy?”

Stage 3: Contacting the top choices.

Although Charlie expected to hear back from his dream girls within the first few moments of his pitch, the girls only responded with giggles and his social calendar remained empty. Thankfully, though, several students he hung out with let him know of many other opportunities he could pursue in his own homeroom. With a humble taste of embarrassment, he started calling around to connect with these “plan B” girls and began the process of getting to know their unique stories. By the beginning of the following week, he had narrowed his search down to two girls – Fiona and Allison. Rather than letting them know he was considering the other, though, he chose to instead pursue them both until he could find out who would offer the better package socially and physically.

Although Charlie expected to hear back from his dream churches within the first month of his pitch, the phone didn’t ring and his mailbox remained empty. Thankfully, though, several people he networked with let him know of many other opportunities he could pursue in his own hometown. With a humble taste of embarrassment, he started calling around to connect with these “plan B” churches and began the process of getting to know their unique stories. By the beginning of August, he had narrowed his search down to two congregations – First Fellowship and Anytown Community Church. Rather than letting them know he was considering the other, though, he chose to instead pursue them both until he could find out who would offer the better package professionally and financially.

Stage 4: Courting and connecting.

With just two weeks away from the dance, Charlie had set up back-to-back dates with both girls over the weekend. He planned on meeting with Fiona for breakfast at a fast food restaurant, then meeting Allison for lunch at the mall later in the day. As he hung out with each girl, he intended to take note of her strengths and weaknesses. While Fiona had initially seemed the more attractive of the two, her personality and interests were more different than Charlie was comfortable with. Allison, on the other hand, had average looks but could offer a better conversation (especially when it came to stroking Charlie’s ego). While both girls were interested in him, Charlie didn’t have to think about the option much further. He officially asked Allison to be his date to the dance, leaving her overjoyed and anxious to walk through the stores of the mall to find her dress.

With just two weeks away from September, Charlie had set up back-to-back dates with both churches over the weekend. He planned on meeting with the search team from First Fellowship for breakfast at a local restaurant, then driving over to meet with members from Anytown Community Church for lunch later in the day. As he hung out with each church, he intended to take note of its strengths and weaknesses. While First Fellowship had initially seemed the more attractive of the two, the personality and interests of its members were more different than Charlie was comfortable with. ACC, on the other hand, had looked like an average church but seemed as though it could offer a better compensation package (which especially stroked Charlie’s ego). While both churches were interested in him, Charlie didn’t have to think about the option much further. He officially accepted the invitation from Anytown Community Church to be its pastor, leaving the team members overjoyed and anxious to walk through the final process of dressing up the deal.

Stage 5: Expect the unexpected.

It’s interesting what can happen in one day. Just twenty-four hours after meeting with Allison, Charlie received a call from Natalie – the current “it” girl of the school. When he had initially approached her with his infamous pitch, she didn’t know who he was and decided to spend some time finding out through some of his friends. Convinced that he would be the ideal date for the dance, she strategically hinted of the opportunity to go with her if he was interested. To Charlie it was a “no brainer” – he quickly asked Natalie to consider being his date. Not wanting to face Allison, though, he sent her a note the next day during homeroom. It read, ‘Allison – it turns out I’m going to go with someone else to the dance. Sorry. – C”

It’s interesting what can happen in one day. Just twenty-four hours after meeting with ACC, Charlie received a call from Neobrook People – the current “it” church of the country. When he had initially sent his resume with his infamous pitch, they didn’t know who he was and decided to spend some time finding out through some of his references. Convinced that he would be the ideal candidate for their church, they strategically hinted of the opportunity to join their team if he was interested. To Charlie it was a “no brainer” – he quickly shared his desire to start the process of joining the staff. Not wanting to face the search team from ACC, though, he sent them a note via email from home. It read, ‘Dear Anytown Community Church – While I appreciate our time together it turns out I feel God calling me elsewhere. I hope you find the right candidate soon. – Charlie”

do you like me? if so, check this box - pt 1

A few friends of mine are in the "search process" right now, trying to do several dances with search teams that honestly just don't get it. I've been on both sides of that fence, and so I'd like to share with you an article that I originally wrote for Monday Morning Insight a few years back.

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Do you remember the first love note you got from someone you liked?

It probably came in the form of a short letter and had a few silly questions on it that you were supposed to answer. Often such surveys had multiple-choice options whereas others demanded a small essay. The purpose of this, of course, was to indicate your interest and overall compatibility with the one who had sent you the letter. Yet as we look back on the whole concept what is most amazing is that this isn’t just the way adolescents try to find their next crush. Rather, this is the way that churches and businesses are trying to find their next great hire.

Having been in “pastoral ministry” (whatever that is) for several seasons, I have experienced my fair share of unemployment and prospective interviews. In fact, it never ceases to amaze me how often I’ve been asked, “So… why have you served in more than a couple of churches?” There’s an interesting implication there, hinting at the idea that the church world should function like the corporate world. In the business sector, consistent employment history indicates you are a “solid employee.” In the church realm, however, a stable resume could mean someone who’s been a solid employee OR instead suggest yet another man or woman whose chosen to become a “professional clergyman/woman” instead of an impassioned minister of the Gospel.

So how are many churches trying to weed through resumes and candidates? Several say they are adopting proven corporate practices in order to know their candidates better, using methods like personality profiling and extensive surveys to know someone from every possible direction. Having been the recipient of such investigations, I have enjoyed the chance to get to know myself better and the theology I claim as every part of who I am gets poked and prodded. Positively speaking, it has on more than one occasion represented a physical your doctor might perform in order to learn things about you that may not show up on the surface.

From a negative perspective, though, many churches and candidates have begun to rely on such structures at the loss of following the Holy Spirit. In their efforts to be more thorough, they have tended to lose sight of the big picture, ending up more like the typical scenario in a middle school cafeteria.

Do You Like Me? - Take 1: The Church

Stage 1: Identifying the need.

It just seemed like everyone around Holly Harris had a boyfriend. As she started to compare her friends’ social life versus her own, the idea of having a guy on her arm sounded quite appealing. For instance, one benefit would be that if a major dance or event came up she wouldn’t have to worry about finding a date. Not just any guy would fit the bill, though. In order for Holly to truly be as popular as she hoped to be she would need a total and complete “hottie” with a flawless smile to be her social savior. If such a guy could be found it would make the other girls jealous whenever they heard her name.

It just seemed like every congregation around the “First Church of Anytown” had a youth pastor. As the church leaders started to think about the success of other student ministries in town, the idea of having a charismatic point person for the “young people” in the church sounded quite appealing. For instance, one benefit would be that if a new family with teenagers came to visit a service they wouldn’t have to worry about finding someone to schmooze the kids into the program. Not just any candidate would fit the bill, though. In order for this endeavor to be as “successful” as everyone hoped it would be it would need someone with a flawless past and good track record. If such a guy could be found (because the thought of hiring a girl would seem “too controversial”) it would make the other churches jealous whenever they heard First Church’s name.

Stage 2: Writing the pitch.

Holly found some time in between classes to write out a short anonymous survey that contained hints of what she was looking for. After fine-tuning it with a couple of friends, she came up with a final product. It read: “Do you have a girlfriend? ____ What kind of music do you like? _____. What is your favorite kind of pizza? ______. What do you think of Holly Harris? _________.” Holly came up with a clever plan to pay one of her older brother’s friends to pass it around in his classes to guys he thought would be a good match. This way Holly’s identity could remain a secret while found out what eighth grade guys would be a match for her - a seventh grade girl. She hoped to collect the survey by the end of the day.

The leaders of FCOA found some time in between services to write out a short anonymous ad that contained hints of what they were looking for. They bounced it off of a couple of parents and volunteers who added some fine-tuning to the overall flow. As they stared at the final product, it read: “Do you like teenagers? Are you comfortable spending your entire week at the local schools? Can you put in a full workweek at the office? Is it possible for you to draw a crowd of students, grow attendance, and provide a top-rated student ministry program using a principle-based model? Send us your thoughts and resume.” The leadership team came up with a clever plan to have a third-party parachurch organization do the “headhunting” for them. This way the church’s identity could remain a secret while they found out which candidate could take them to a level beyond themselves. They hoped to collect the resumes by the end of the month.

Stage 3: Contacting the top choices.

Out of all the surveys that Holly got back, she found three to be her top choices. She created a follow up questionnaire that was designed to help her identify who was the “choice” hottie. It read: “I like you. Do you like me? ___ Yes ___ No - Holly.” She passed out the papers via her brother’s friend, getting two of the three back. One of the boys had indicated “no,” while the other had marked “yes.” At the bottom of this paper was his name – “Eric” – and a phone number with the invitation, “Call me.”

Out of all the resumes that the search team members of FCOA got back, they found three to be their top choices. The team created a follow up questionnaire that was designed to help identify who was the “best of the best.” It read: “Dear applicant. We are excited to be on this journey with you and have enclosed several questions about our doctrinal statements and philosophy of ministry. Please read them carefully and let us know if there is anything that you disagree with. If everything looks in order, sign the line at the bottom of the page to indicate your acceptance of our position as a church.” This survey was sent to the candidates through the third-party parachurch organization, leading to two of the three papers to be filled out and returned. One of the candidates had sent a letter sharing how he didn’t think he would be a good match for the church, while the other applicant – “Eric” – took the time to sign on the dotted line. On his cover letter he shared how he “looked forward to talking with the church in the near future” and enclosed his cell phone number as an additional means of contact.

Stage 4: Courting and connecting.

After several attempts to pick up the phone and call Eric, Holly finally managed to find the courage to make it happen. As it turns out, he had been hoping she would call before the big dance so that they could talk about going together. While she was joyfully excited and wanted to immediately agree, she had learned from her big brother’s friend that it was better to be coy and playful about such things. Instead, Holly suggested that they meet at the mall after school the next day to walk around and talk about it. And so the next day the two of them met and enjoyed some time getting to know each other. Eric paid for the ice cream they shared, then again indicated his interest in being Holly’s date for the dance. Holly responded, “I’d like that. I’ll let you know this weekend.”

After several attempts to schedule a conference call with Eric, the search team finally managed to find the time to make it happen. As it turns out, he had been hoping the church would call so that they could talk about serving together. While the team was joyfully excited and wanted to immediately offer him the job, they had learned from their parachurch consultants that it was better to be noncommittal at this stage of the process. Instead, they suggested that if Eric wanted he could come for an initial visit so that he could meet the team and get to know the community. And so Eric made the three-hour drive out in order to spend some time getting to know the situation more personally. Since Eric covered his own expenses, he was only able to stay overnight. On his way out, though, he took the time to again indicate his interest in being FCOA’s next youth pastor. The team responded, “We’d like that. We’ll let you know by next week.”

Stage 5: Expect the unexpected.

A funny thing happened when Holly asked her brother’s friend for advice. She didn’t notice it at first, but for some reason she found him more attractive than she had before. Maybe it was the process of spending all this extra time together or the fact that he wouldn’t accept her money when she tried to pay for his help. In any event, Eric started to become a faded memory as the thought of “Jake” stole the spotlight. Since Holly had gotten so distracted by him, she forgot to call Eric and let him know about the dance (as she had promised). After a couple of days, Eric ended up calling her only to get her answering machine. Embarrassed and not wanting to face the awkwardness of the situation, Holly wrote a letter and sent it in the mail to him. It read, “Dear Eric – Sorry but I can’t go to the dance with you. I had fun talking with you but I’m going with Jake instead. Hope you find a date. – Holly.” Unfortunately, Eric didn’t receive the letter until after the dance.

A funny thing happened when the search team from FCOA asked the parachurch consultants for advice. They didn’t notice it at first, but for some reason they found their style of ministry more attractive than they had before. Maybe it was the process of spending all this extra time together or the fact that their campus ministry didn’t require FCOA having to budget money for a new staff member. In any event, Eric started to become a faded memory as the thought of “partnering” with this organization stole the spotlight. Since the team had gotten so distracted by the concept, they forgot to call Eric and let him know about where he stood (as they had promised). After a couple of days, Eric ended up calling the church only to get its answering machine. Embarrassed and not wanting to face the awkwardness of the situation, the search team wrote a letter and sent it in the mail to him. It read, “Dear Eric – We have enjoyed getting to know you and a host of many other candidates. However, we have concluded that we will be pursuing another individual at this time. We apologize and hope that you wish us the best. We’ll be praying you find another opportunity soon. – Sincerely, the First Church Of Anytown.” Unfortunately, Eric didn’t receive the letter until after having turned down several other opportunities.