your title or your influence?

I once worked in a job where I feared for my job... everyday. And I wasn't alone.

It wasn't because of the economy, and it wasn't because we were all bad employees.

It was because our boss was insecure and came across like a lion to everyone. He was someone who only cared about the idea of success than in creating the environment for it.

I've been in the exact opposite situation, though. I've served in church staff teams where we were so inspired by the character and direction of our main leader that we climbed over ourselves to be a part of what he was up to.

It's the difference between transactional relationships versus transformational relationships:

• Transactional relationships:
• You focus on what needs to happen.
• You're concerned with the appearance of non-failure.
• You spend your time one-upping each other.
  
• Transformational relationships: 
• You focus on who each person is becoming.
• You're concerned with the health of people.
• You spend your time sacrificing for each other.

Every relationship, organization, classroom and work environment tends to run with one of these two models dominating. You can influence that, whether you're at the top or bottom of the totem pole.

• T: Take the initiative in your own life first - become the person you want others to be.
• R: Raise your eyes - set your focus on things above versus things of the earth (Col 3:1-4)
• A: Ask others questions - find out who they are and what they're most concerned about in life.
• N: Nurture conversation - set up regular lunch times where everyone gets together to chat.
• S: Say the mission - don't just nod your head at what's on the wall, but use it in conversation.
• F: Face people - don't multitask during conversations (close the laptop and turn off your phone).
• O: Own mistakes - if you know you did something wrong, apologize right away.
• R: Raise standards - stop using the phrase "That was good enough."
• M: Mind your mind - introduce people to new thoughts and ideas that can lead to change.

In the end, you will influence others either out of your:

• Title: Parent, spouse, employer, employee, customer, teacher, student, pastor, tither, guest, regular, etc
• Influence: Your integrity, your passion, your relationship with God, etc

So... what is your next step to create healthy people instead of yet another power play?

The most important [commandment],” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31)

is it on purpose or on accident?

Admit it - you like giving others a hard time (even though you know you shouldn't). Other times you may do it without realizing how others are receiving it. For example:

• Maybe you enjoy giving little kids a hard time (Kid: "I'm hungry." You: "Hi, Hungry! Glad to meet you." Kid: "STOPPPPPPP!")
• Perhaps you bring up old conversations whenever you see people ("Hey!  It's 'Scary Toes!'  Hey everyone, this one time Sheila was wearing flip flops and her toes were all dirty. Scary!")
• Quite possibly you take shortcuts with names that other people haven't asked you to (Person: "Hi, I'm Nicholas." You: "Hey Nick!  How are you, Nick?")
• It could be that you're the "Yeah, but..." person in every conversation, email or online post. (Person: "...which is why that's why I feel as strongly about that as I do." You: "Yeah, but how about this...?")

Most of this has less to do with a conscious effort to anger others and more our own way of blowing off steam or processing life. Still, even though we'd claim "That's just who I am" that doesn't mean it's who you should be.

Just a question - how is your attempt to not feel annoyed by life actually annoying others?

"Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both." (Proverbs 27:3)

feeling happy?

San Francisco has banned the Happy Meal, on the day of the return of the McRib no less.

The city is prohibiting fast food restaurants from including toys in children's meals if they don't meat nutritional guidelines. The city's board voted 8-3, which means the city's mayor can't veto it.

No toy is allowed if the meal crosses any of these lines:

• If the meal has trans-fat.
• If the meal is over 600 calories.
• If the meal has 35% fat calories.

The rules go into effect in December of 2011.

Of course, this is a controversial story. We can debate whether or not it's wise to no end.

What intrigues me most, though, is that the city recognizes the impact of subtle things that create bad habits or ideologies for the long haul.

I wonder... where else does this principle apply? 

What else makes us feel happy... even when it isn't good for us?

one or the other isn't a choice

Every person seeking to honor God deals with the tension of seeking to honor people instead.  Pastors are no exception, especially since each week we step up to bat and attempt to share truth in a world full of opinions.

One way I deal with this is to pretend that every Sunday is the last sermon I'll ever preach. It helps me remember that one day this will be the case (as morbid as that sounds), but also that in the meantime I can't put on the mask of doing what sounds politically correct at the expense of being biblically sound. If I truly care about Jesus Christ and other people, then I need to make the most of that opportunity (and every other opportunity in every day, for that matter) to share what's important with the people I love.

Preachers must always try to feel what it is like to live inside the skins of the people they preach to, to hear the truth as they hear it. That is not as hard as it sounds because, of course, they are themselves hearers of truth as well as tellers of truth, and listen out of the same emptiness as the people do for a truth to fill them and make them true. - Frederick Buechner

It's not easy... but easy is deceptive. The very presence of tension, conflict, and trouble could be a sign that you’re right where you need to be doing exactly what you need to be doing. Yesterday was no exception for me, especially since I exhaled some uncomfortable truth.

And so I wanted to write a word out there to my peers who wonder sometimes if the "Monday blues" (the potential to feel down after feedback or insecurities pop up) are worth it.

This is from Rob Bell and his talk "Poets, Prophets and Teachers"

---

When you bring the fresh Word... 

when you stand up in the midst of your community after prayer, study... 

in community you've discussed this... 

and you bring a new word and you've got others around you that are resonating... 

there is a chance that you won't be understood.

There is a chance that you are speaking something that some can't see.

When you give a sermon you open yourself up to...

misinterpretation and confusion and anger and ignorance and blogging and fear and jealousy and opinions and evaluation and critique and agenda and baggage and convictions and projections (and this is way more about them than about you)

and at the exact same moment you are also opening yourself up to the possibility of....

truth and light and hope and repentance and desire and compassion and longing and revolution and confession and inspiration and comfort and solidarity and salvation and resurrection.

And when you do this... 

you don't get to pick one or the other.

You want the one? 

Then you've got to be willing to take the other.

presence for africa

Starting this morning, I'm on a five day meal plan of rice and beans only.

No... it's not a new fad diet. It's something sacrificial I'm doing for some orphans and friends in Africa. I want to invite you to join on in, or at the very least read about it. My church family is all over this, and we'd love your support so we can make a huge impact on the other side of the globe.

Click here to find out more: http://connectionchurch.org/africa/