perspective and worry

My almost-nine-year old son is sick today... as am I.  We're talking uncontrollable coughing, feeling chilly and hot all at the same time, and a bunch of Kleenex on the ground.  Thankfully, I'm feeling functional but know that he's really wrestling with what this has done to his body.  Quite a few times today he's looked at my wife and I and asked us a question without asking it.

"Am I going to be okay?"

Do you know what that look looks like? 

Of course, we're doing what we can do to make him feel better.  We've offered him healthy food, special vitamin packed smoothies, a hot shower and bath, comfortable clothes, favorite TV to watch, and more.  And yet... the look still continues to pop up.

"Am I going to be okay?"

At least once he's had a meltdown, and I don't blame him.  It's been hard for me to be ill, and I have a greater perspective than he does on it. 

That's kind of my point, actually.

A leader is someone whose job it is to absorb the worry of another person or situation, give it context, and then share the new perspective right back out.

Which raises the question... what happens when you don't have context yourself for what life throws your way?

• Cliches: We begin to let shallow thought pose as deep thought instead of letting deep thought speak to deep issues.
• Religion: We begin to define how God works instead of letting Him define how He works.
• Forgetfulness: We begin to let the loudest voice overcome the small voice instead of letting a still, small voice within us overcome the loudest voice.
• Panic: We begin to let circumstances define us instead of letting circumstances refine us.

I wonder... what perspective do you need to develop now for the next leadership moment you will be asked to face?

sharing the victory

In an interview last week with Sharing the Victory magazine, Drew Brees, MVP quarterback in last weekend's Superbowl, talked about how his faith affects his life and his game:

“I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart on my 17th birthday...Before that, I'd gone to church with my family, but I didn't fully understand it or accept it... I remember my pastor talking about God 'looking for a few good men.' All of a sudden the light bulb went [on] in my head and I was like, 'Hey, that's me; I can be one of those few good men!'”

When asked what that meant, Brees answered:

“It means that you trust in the Lord, you trust that He has a plan for your life. You trust that He's never going to put anything in front of you that's too hard for you…so no matter what comes your way, you'll overcome it and it will make you stronger. [It's] the ability to influence—in a positive way—so many other people, and just be able to spread the blessings that God has bestowed upon you.”

He also talked of his career-changing injury:

“When I had that injury...in San Diego, I felt that was the worst thing that could've ever happened to me at the worst time—potentially career-ending—and you start to feel sorry for yourself. You start to ask, 'Why me, why now?' I looked back a year after that—after I'd already been [in New Orleans] a year—and I said, 'You know what, God? That was probably the BEST thing that could've happened to me!' ...Otherwise, I would've never had the opportunity to be a part of this community, to be a part of this rebuilding effort. I feel like I'm a mentally tougher, and stronger person for it; both with my job as a professional football player, as a husband, soon after as a father, and then with my faith.”

Sharing the Victory 2/2/10

restraint

Check out this quote from George Foreman, describing the 1974 fight with Muhammad Ali (where Foreman lost the Heavyweight Champ title):

Probably the best punch of the whole fight was never landed. Muhammad Ali, as I was going down - stumbling and trying to hold myself - he saw me stumbling. Ordinarily, you finish your fighter off. I would have. He got ready to throw the right hand and he didn't do it. That's what made him, in my mind, the greatest fighter I ever fought.

I watched the footage of this fight, and you can see what Foreman is talking about.



A famous quote states that "Restraint is the better part of valor."  When you know you have the power to destroy another person in word or deed and choose not to, it can be more admirable than many may ever recognize... for true discretion occurs when it is unnoticeable to those who are watching.  Which makes the practice of secrecy about the restraint that much more of a statement.

However, there are times when the punch should land.  In the Ali vs Foreman fight, several swings occurred before the one that didn't.  In our realm of relationships, we have to remember that we are in other people's lives for a reason, too.  If we neglect to press in and help them grow (which is a different goal than a prize fight, of course), we can do them a disservice as well.

So wherever you find yourself these days with plenty of "ammunition" to take out another, you may want to ask yourself if this is the time to make an aggressive or a passive move.

Because both are needed, and I'm guessing most of us tend to be imbalanced in this area, one way or the other.

seeing my blind spots

I made a friendship covenant with four people... people who see me from a variety of angles and different personalities.

Specifically, I handed each a slip of paper that reads as follows:

Our friendship is important to me, as are your insights into my life to help me become more like Jesus. I’m asking you to over the next week to speak 100% truth into me, be it encouragement I can handle in the right way or discouragement from things I’m doing the wrong way. I commit to be a good listener.... please be a gentle yet honest speaker.

There's also a spot for my signature, and I signed it to indicate my intent to be open. That in itself is a challenge for any of us, including me. Because the moment someone starts to tell you something that you haven't dealt with it's easy to get defensive.

And yet I am committed to any growing pains, which means that for the next week or so I will be extra aware of some of the blind spots in my life.

Tonight I'm also taking part in a "360 Degree Review" with the lead team I serve in our church. This is another opportunity for us to help one another better figure out what we should continue to do, where small adjustments should be made, and what kind of major course corrections are needed. This is truly a big deal, for the health of a church fulfilling its God-given vision begins within the spiritual and relational DNA of its leadership.

Needless to say, in all of this I will have to remain open to new ideas and filter those through my sense of how God is leading my life. I'm looking forward to who I may become on the other end of it all. Thanks for your prayers in this process, because I want to grab what matters and cast aside what doesn't.