criticizing a critical spirit - a.k.a. #RickWarrentips

Today I saw an interesting trend on "the Twitter" - a hashtag for #RickWarrenTips. This clickable link was full of minute-by-minute ribbing of Rick Warren, a noted pastor and author.

Because, you know... that's helpful.

While it was intended to be tongue-in-cheek, perhaps there's more to it than that if you think about the ripples. My sense is it all started when he posted this:

"New churches: Buy land as soon as you can but
delay building for as long as you can.
Can't explain a the reasons here." - Rick Warren

Admittedly, Warren created a limited post. In fact, content like this made me initially put off using "the Twitter" because I didn't like the idea of trying to cram a complete thought into 140 characters... there are times more needs to be said. However, I have in the past two years found a purpose for using "the Twitter" and now try to use even its limitations to hone my limited writing skills.

(Notice how I still call it "the Twitter.")

Today when I saw the Rick Warren topic trending, I wrote:

"#RickWarrentips (Watching this trend. After 3 weeks of being ripped on by people myself, I am unable to contribute. Please starve this one.)"

There are undoubtedly many opinions about Rick Warren. While some would argue he's a solid guy, others would say he's not solid enough. Have fun debating that one and let me know who wins.

What I would offer is when we jab at a minister, we jab at the culture of ministry altogether. After all, the more we make someone a caricature, the less we have to give valid credit to how they're trying to grow our character. And the less we value what comes through a person of God, the less we value hearing God speak to us.

Maybe no one has thought that far ahead yet.

The upside? Rick Warren proved his integrity by jumping in on the ribbing himself, using the very hashtag that prompted it. Perhaps we'll celebrate that... or perhaps he's like that kid who was given a nickname he didn't ask for and would rather laugh among his peers than say "Ouch." Either way, I appreciate and respect his spirit.

Meanwhile, one more observation...

It's odd how you and I insist that everyone else remember we're real people with real feelings... that they just need to give us grace for our shortcomings. Yet we seem to have no problem commenting on the perceived gaps we see in others.

P.S. Note the word "perceived."

P.P.S. Close your eyes and imagine a group of people commenting on you with all the unfair, negative perceptions they've formed about you. Get deep into those negative feelings. Now open your eyes and bring your best self to live differently in how you talk about others in public and in private.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

behind-the-scenes leadership lessons: simply youth ministry conference

In about two weeks, I'll be back again at to take part in, serve and speak at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference. It's not only become one of my favorite learning communities, but is also a hub of amazing friends I've grown to respect more and more each time I'm with them.

That's the quick aim of this post, actually - I'd like for you to understand what happens behind-the-scenes of this particular event. While you can find some great highlight videos or digital images taken on high-grade cameras, I'd like to give you a quick camera-phone glimpse from my experience last year:

The Group/Simply Youth Ministry team has this crazy idea that right in the hub of chaos, just before everyone arrives, that they should pause to encourage everyone speaking or serving and give them a catered meal. It really sets the tone for what's ahead by placing the focus on Jesus and relationships. Even if you don't know all the inside jokes, no one is an outsider.

Disclaimer: SYMC gave me some shelf space for some of my books.
Disclaimer: Even if they didn't, I'd still write this post.

Granted, this is merely a shot of the restaurant area near the convention center in last year's location. What I like about what it represents is every time I'd head down to it I never knew who I'd bump into and spontaneously share a meal with. Everyone is so approachable - I had some amazing chats with some now-great friends who were strangers only moments before we shook hands.

In addition to speaking a teaching track last year, I was able to serve Francis Chan and Rachel Chan by picking them up at the airport and caring for their needs throughout the night. They were a bit airsick and their plane arrived late, but we made the night work in their favor with a lot of behind-the-scenes touches that honored their investment to come and share their gifts.

Note - Francis Chan, award-winning author and internationally known speaker... is carrying his daughter's guitar. This is one of my favorite shots, because the "big names on the big stage" are real people who are the real deal. When they came off the plane, in fact, Rachel said (with pure tongue-in-cheek sass), "Hi, I'm Rachel Chan. This is my father, Francis."

Speaking of the real deal, this is an intentionally blurry-action shot of some of the family members of those serving just loving on one another. Seriously, how cool is that? Every person's kid is "every person's kid."

Another behind-the-scenes shot... instead of yapping on the phone or drifting into their own world in the "green room," the speakers and musicians sit behind the curtain as they get ready to go on stage... and actually pay attention to the message being shared on stage. I love this kind of unnoticed honoring one another - which I thankfully noticed.

One of my favorite shots - while walking Francis Chan to a speaking opportunity, we passed by his face on a stick. I egged him on to take a picture with it, and several camera phones (including mine) captured this intentionally ridiculous shot.

Yes... confessionally, another personal highlight is SYMC lets a shmoe named Tony Myles share from his heart. Just another example of how they look beyond the usual faces and names to unearth new perspectives. I really enjoyed the opportunity this gave me to listen and love on those in my seminar track.

Another unnoticed moment - Jon Acuff delivered a penetrating message about how we can let one voice spoil the applause of thousands. He then came off the stage to thunderous applause, sitting in his chair as composed and completely professional as you'd expect. He seemed to be doing the usual thing speakers do as they leave the stage - mentally unpacking the past few moments as he honors what's next with his attention. He stayed in that mode for moments, until his young daughter climbed onto his lap and told him he did a good job. Then... he melted.

Apparently the math works both ways - the whisper of a loving voice can drown out the thunderous applause of thousands... just as it should.

Party in the suite - a special moment for the SYMC "in the trenches" volunteer team as they love on one another mid-conference.Goofy awards and more fueled this fun time of community.

Spontaneous prayer for one another in the name of Jesus. This is what it's all about, isn't it? Yet another example of this conference being from youth workers, for youth workers.

I hope you'll join me and 3,000 other youth workers as we make some new memories together this year at SYMC in Indianapolis. I'll be doing some more speaking, but I hope be doing even more listening, watching and learning. Let's hang out!


Simply Youth Ministry Conference 2012: Louisville, KY

the 50/100/200 principle

It's brilliant, isn't it?

I'm talking about Jesus' teaching on how far we're called to go beyond what's sensible. In case you don't know it, here's the guts of it:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you" (Matthew 5:38-42)

Before I get to the application, consider the context: God introduced the concept of “an eye for an eye” when the Jews had just left the oppression of Egypt and were wandering in the desert.  Like many of the commands He gave at that time, this one shielded the Jews from acting in haste on issues that they might become passionate about, such as exacting revenge that exceeded how they had been wronged. By practicing patience, an individual would see the big picture and ideally not seek punishment to a crime that was more than exactly equal to it.

Over the years the Jews lost sight of this original intent and began to utilize it legalistically. By the time Jesus ministered on earth he had to uproot how the concept had become a sense of entitlement. People would create loopholes in God’s commands through additional laws they created that let them strike back through lawsuits, attacks, slander and financial oppression. Jesus countered that being offended or having someone ask something of you should never get in the way of  displaying God’s grace and character relationally. To cap it off, His final illustration involved going an extra mile beyond what was legally required if a Roman soldier demanded a Jewish male carry a heavy burden for him.

On that note, consider the 50/100/200 principle:

• The average person says they expect a 50/50 relationship with things that matter.
• Example, "If I call up _______ and ask for _________, I expect they'll meet me half-way at helping me get what I need."
• The average person actually assumes a 100% response to their 50% effort. 
• Example, "I called up _______ and left a message, so now it's up to them to call me. I'm not calling them again. I did my part and this frustration of not getting in contact with someone better be apologized for. Why isn't there better communication that fits within the scope of my world?"
• Jesus calls Christians to bless others with a 200% "extra mile" effort.
• Example, "I knew who to call and when to reach them because they've made it so easy to know these things. When they did call me, it wasn't just to meet my request but to find out if I had anything else happening they could serve me in. I was valued as a person."

Disney World is one of many companies that prides itself on going the extra mile for customers. Years ago, Avis Rent-A-Car likewise once confessed it was the #2 car company which meant they would try that much harder to be #1. Chick-Fil-A is another company that seems to go over the top to add those little touches to customers, from the cashier's attitude to the inch-gap they leave on the door to the play area so kids don't stub their toes.

It's why one of the newer catchphrases around our church leadership team is to do the "200%" thing. Here's why:

• It's mathematically impossible to go beyond 100%. That means that for this to happen it has to be a "beyond you" effort... God has to be involved.
  
• Some people care about these extra touches. While others are more laid back about a number of things, the other half of the population cares about details and commitment. They will literally have the thing God is trying to grow in them spoiled if something is not attended to. This can't be ever perfectly handled, but it can be addressed.

I like the sound of a church community committed to doing what they can't do so that people take note of what only God can do. Life change doesn't take place within what's expected but in the context of what's exceeded.

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men." (Ephesians 6:7)

a simple thought about the simply youth ministry conference

I used to be a conference junkie.

You know the drill – discover your favorite superhero speakers, and then search the Web and every oversized postcard that came in the mail for the last names Hybels, Chan, Webster, Giglio, Ortberg, Bell, Tomlin, Crowder, and so on. If you don’t yet identify, substitute one of my names with your personal larger-than-life speakers.

Maybe that’s why I found myself compelled to move from the back row to the front row. After a while, I was even backstage… at times it was even officially asked for. Over the years I’ve been everything from a conference blogger, convention pastor, seminar speaker and an official-yet-unofficial encourager. When the national economy tanked a few years ago, I even became thankful for the ability to see a conference via streaming video... I couldn't get enough.

Perhaps it was too much all at once. Maybe I ended up hearing the same speakers give the same messages in different venues. It’s possible that the seminar topics actually did recycle year after year.

All I know is that I hit a wall. I somehow shifted from enjoying conferences to predicting them. I’d see friends every year through these events, but we all seemed to be busied with a task or taking notes from the next speaker that even our time hanging out seemed “offline” from the official schedule. It was as if I was cheating on the investment I’d made with the conference, like dining at Outback Steakhouse but taking a break to grab an ice cream cone in between the appetizer and the main course.

Then there’s this year – I’m a part of the Simply Youth Ministry Conference, taking place in Louisville, Kentucky on March 2-5. Honestly, I’m drooling as I wait for what’s ahead because for the first time in a long time I’m completely excited for a ministry convention. There are some incredible speakers and worship leaders who are headlining, but what geeks me even more is the way relationships are weaved into this weekend. Instead of having to generate connections on the side, they’re happening at the core of all that’s going on. Somehow this makes sense, because while taking great notes is helpful we all need people who “get” us to bounce such insights off of even after the conference.

Make no mistake, this is a conference for student ministry. There will be hilarious fun and celebrations, as well as powerful insights into youth culture. Jesus Christ will get the spotlight, and His people who serve in the trenches will get refreshed with a fresh breath while being taught how to "breathe" again.

For me, though, it’s simply a chance to grow in my relationship with God and my relationships with others. I could be wrong, but I think those may be the top two things Jesus said I need to be doing anyway.

I hope you’ll join me at the conference… I could always appreciate another friend, and perhaps you can, too.

leading without power

My buddy Mark Oestreicher has a great blog series he's writing on "Leading Without Power." He's essentially unpacking some content I heard him share at the National Youth Worker's Convention.

(part 1, overview; part 2, competency facilitator; part 3, culture evangelist; part 4, mission curator, part 5, storytelling host, part 6, champion of hope)

On Part 7, he explores the idea of a "Uniqueness DJ" who looks for ways to connect people to opportunities, versus the other way around. He offers this example: 

For years, in youth ministry, I utilized a highly articulated ‘job description’ for volunteers. The thinking was (and i had been taught this, and subsequently taught this myself in many seminars) that youth ministry volunteers would flourish is they knew what was expected. I read that sentence now, and I think, what a dehumanizing approach to people. I would approach this very differently today. After the shared values of the ministry are discerned and articulated, I would work with each volunteer, based on his or her strengths, interests, experiences and competencies, to help him or her develop a unique plan for embodying our values in the context of their youth ministry calling. and, I would be intentional about how these unique works of art, made in the image of God, can experience something greater than themselves by bringing their uniqueness to the whole.

That reminded me of something I learned while watching the commentary on the first DVD of the TV series LOST. While a number of roles were “pre-written,” most of the show was cast or re-categorized based on the actors who came in to audition. For example, the character “Jack” (who eventually became the linchpin of the show) was originally conceived to die in the first episode. The “Kate’ character was going to be the leader of the group after that. “Jack” was planned he would be played by Michael Keaton versus Matthew Fox… that is, until they met Matthew Fox.

Even cooler – “Hurley” never existed in the script. When the actor who played him auditioned, he originally tried out to play the smooth-talking ladies man “Sawyer.” The DVD shows that video, during which we see a “Hurley-ism” come out that the writers and producers liked enough to create a character around.

Basically, what made the show what it was wasn’t a job description, but that people were sniffed out for what they could offer, and a job description was written around them.

The only time I’ve felt this way outside of my current situation was when I was serving under an innovative pastor who would ask me to rewrite my job description and goals every year. This activity was to consider where I was at in life, what I wasn’t capable of this year that I may have been last year (i.e. due to changes in family), and where I sensed God wanted things to go that may have been shifts from how we were doing things. I looked forward to this process because of the freedom it allowed me to grow, and integrated it into how I personally lead others.

Or as Marko put it, a “Uniqueness DJ.”

As a side note, the world doesn’t work this way, and people may still ask to get the 2-dimensional job description that they will attempt to live 3-dimensionally in. If you give them a better way, some may embrace it… but others will struggle. It may even that may lead to issues within the group of leaders you serve that will surface if a strong personality comes in and wonders why everyone else isn’t acting like life in the business world.

Maybe that’s why he chose the word “DJ,” though – because it involves coming up with remixes on the spot. Meaning, this thinking doesn’t just apply to the personality of the individual, but to the “personality” of the whole group, too.

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. " (Romans 12:6a)

a few too many spare ribs at the president?

Apparently, the "first family" made a big boo-boo. They're being accused of having double-standards when it comes to how they live and eat.

Read about it here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1358829/Obamas-double-standards-family-holidays-telling-Americans-to.html

First off, my comments as follows are not intended to be political ones. Let's be honest - most of the commentary on this stems less from the issue, and more if you voted for or against the President.

Again... be honest on this.

Then there is the issue itself, which is a hard line to walk... for us, and for the President.


On our end, we have to be cautious about what we see versus what actually is. I'm not a President, but as a pastor I often have people looking at my choices without context. For example, I once had a family in the church tell me that they didn't think I should have taken my family on a vacation because they "pay my salary" and weren't in a position to take a vacation themselves. (Ironically, I paid for the vacation through a writing job I took on.) It's like the old joke that says, "I don't mind what kind of car a pastor drives, as long as it's worse than mine."

We do this with politicians and celebrities all the time. There is a standard we hold them to, and in some ways... rightfully so. On the other hand, we don't realize how hard it is for someone to be a President, let alone to have their kids under the pressure of public scrutiny.

A friend of mine is in the public eye and recently made a decision to switch jobs. The online chatter about it is nothing short of viscous, which I'm hoping the family hasn't read or heard. Comments as petty as, "Who did _____ have sex with to get that job?"

Seriously.

And... seriously?


On the President's end, he does need to exercise healthy judgment. The choices he makes will speak louder than the speeches he gives. Granted, no one knows what it's like to be in his shoes - even past Presidents had unique circumstances that made their jobs unique. Many got wore down fast - just look at President Bush's physical weariness after 9/11.

Yet none of that is an excuse to go off the deep end. Even splurging needs to have boundaries, whether you stretch to turn your McDonalds sandwich into an "extra value meal," or decide to upgrade your rental car experience to include satellite radio. I'm not sure we know enough about the Obama's private financial information or nutritional plan to know if their splurge is a healthy one, or completely unhealthy.

Per Michelle's choices, they are unfortunately amplified - she has taken a public stance on something, and therefore has invited the criticism. Maybe this is why people are afraid to look decisive anymore... we've become a culture that is ready to pounce instead of encourage. Ever thought how that plays out in your life?

Perhaps the Obama's have double-standards after all... or maybe their standards are just like our own that we refuse to see. Again, have you ever splurged on something... only the camera crew wasn't there to capture it? Or if someone did witness it, are you sure they understood your choice?

Granted, sometimes our splurging isn't healthy. I struggle to see people spend money on addictions, such as tobacco and liquor, instead of getting their household into a healthier place. It can even be in our entertainment choices - we may spend way too much money on cable, movies, or our cell phone features.

We're quick to defend our sense of entitlements, though. But we need to take a better look at our own inconsistencies. It's one of the reasons why our church works hard to offer financial counseling and other support so that this doesn't have to be the case.

Yet as I stated earlier, too much of this particular issue is going to be filtered through our personal politics. For every, "Yeah, but..." you may offer, I simply ask, "Do you really know the context of their choices, or merely the coverage of it?"

After all, this isn't a post about the Obama family, nor Rush Limbaugh. That would be too easy. We could criticize them all day without ever having to change ourselves.

Because this is a post about you and I. Let's do some personal growing before we cast the first stone... and let's remember that we are quick to react instead of respond. Maybe we can stop "ribbing" on each other, for it gives us one less bone to pick.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3-4)

our daily (Panera) bread

Did you catch this news by Panera Bread? They have it a new stride by creating new locations where customers can't find any prices on the menu, but simply pay what they want and think is "fair."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37213165/ns/business-consumer_news/

A buddy of mine in town does this everyday via CUPS Cafe - they've been doing it for three years and haven't missed a rent payment yet, relying upon the collective vision of others who want to feed those in our area a dignified and delicious meal who otherwise couldn't afford one. Our church is one of its supporters, as we believe in this concept Jesus put forth to take care of each other.

Imagine that.

"And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." (Hebrews 13:16)

How can you apply this principle in your field of leadership?

a glimpse at hope via the next generation

I really, really, really, really like it when the Church lives up to its name and makes a real difference in the world.

If you have ever felt that sense of "Yeah, this is right, and I don't know I know it, but I know it" when you give of yourself, check out this post and see what a bunch of Ramen-noodle eating young adults sacrificed and gave in just a few days this past weekend:

http://268generation.com/blog/2011/01/together-we-are-a-force-for-good-2/ 

By the way, you may want to know this isn't just a good deed. It came about as a response to several sessions of biblical teaching and worship that they couldn't help but respond to. This is a part of what Jesus teaches us to do... take care of those who are unable to take care of themselves.

So if you're a Christian, don't just nod your head and smile when you read this. Bring your own version of this into the world through your local church.

And if you aren't yet a Christian, find a local church who "gets it" and join on in.

discussing the hurdle of faith after high school

A number of people advocate that we shouldn't guide kids anything at all when it comes to their faith.  The theory is that when kids want to know they'll ask.  Until then we should keep our hands off.

Others, though, see this issue through the same lens as they do other things kids need to know about the world.  It's why they say, "Do your homework, even if it's a struggle" or "Let me teach you something about life you don't know even know to ask about."  By bringing it to the young person, he/she has a chance to dialogue about faith and its alternatives growing up versus not having this experience at all.

What's intriguing is that in both cases there comes a point in adulthood when an emerging adult needs to decide what they will do with what they have or haven't been offered from their parents and other adults.

I had a great chat with a number of great thinkers and question-askers recently about the hurdle of faith after high school. It was all apart of an online talk forum I hosted for Tim Schmoyer of Life In Student Ministry. It even tracked back to how we invest into kids all the way up to teenagers.

Some key thoughts from the show:

• Churches face a temptation to “throw a college” ministry at emerging adults. Perhaps because it’s easier to push large group environments that feel like candy versus mentoring that isn’t quite as glamorous and marketable.
• Emerging adults are finding community elsewhere – in drinking a beer or a fraternity/sorority. We need to ask “Why?” Is it because these environments are more appealing to “let them be where they are today?”
• Our trend as a church is to draw people to a maturity level they aren’t at. Do emerging adults struggle with this?
• We need to destroy the idea of a finish line that ends at high school and move it at least four years further. Even then, it’s not a true finish line but more of a point where we have helped shape an understand of what self-feeding Christianity looks like and how they can contribute into the state of the church (and it’s plans for ministry).
• Success is perhaps best defined in terms of identity – a young person finishing high school or college and knowing with conviction how they are a son or daughter of God.
• Some of the greatest stories of us doing this well almost always involve a person or two who checked in on emerging adults semi-regularly to remind them who they were and wanted to become.
• We need to see church as a family and not as a program.
• One idea: Start to paint a picture of this early on during elementary years – what it looks like to become an adult who is walking with Christ in a healthy way and turning around to invest into the next generation; utilizing “identity based” curriculum during the last two years of high school; helping the church know “who” has graduated and what is next for them so that they don’t become a statistic; and so on.

Check out the full audio here:
http://www.studentministry.org/the-hurdle-of-faith-after-high-school-podcast/

word to your mother

Have you ever heard of the woman who hated Mother’s Day? 

According to the Toronto Star, there was such a woman.. and she started it all. If you think the spirit of Mother’s Day has been spoiled by the commercialism of cards, flowers and once-a-year sincerity, you stand united with the woman credited with giving us the annual event.

Anna Jarvis, a West Virginian woman, was so horrified by what the holiday she helped create in 1914 turned into that she spent most of her later years campaigning to have the second Sunday in May removed from the calendar as the day to honor your mother.

In the end, Jarvis lost the fight. The woman, who was never a mother herself, exhausted her financial resources and ruined her mental health in that fight. She died alone in 1948 in an asylum at the age of 84. Just before her death Jarvis told a local reporter: "I devoted my entire life to Mother’s Day and the racketeers and grafters have taken it over."

In 1914, Jarvis spearheaded a campaign to help persuade U.S. president Woodrow Wilson to set aside May’s second Sunday as a national day for recognition. She orchestrated a letter-writing campaign to him, lobbied influential politicians and clergymen, and distributed brochures arguing about the importance of a national day for mothers.

Jarvis’ cause came from admiration for her recently deceased mother, Anna Maria, and others like her who had been an inspiration. But by the early 1920s, she was sickened by the commercial circus she had helped create. She felt the day had nothing to do with celebrating the real achievements of women.

Jarvis spent her latter days crashing floral company conventions to protest and urging card companies to give the money they made from Mother’s Day to the poor. At one Mother’s Day convention where flowers were being sold she was arrested for disturbing the peace. She even launched a lawsuit to stop a Mother’s Day festival from being held.

This only drives home the point that the things we start up may become something we never intended them to be.  From casual conversations we begin that soon become negative gossip sessions to baby steps into temptation that creates a noose around our neck, consider the impact of that next thing you're pushing for.

ten signs a leader is losing it

Great thoughts from Perry Noble on things most leaders overlook in themselves (taken from a study of the life of Saul, Israel's first man to be King)

http://www.perrynoble.com/2010/03/25/ten-signs-a-leader-is-losing-it/

a tune-up on hospitality

Right now, I'm hanging out in one of the coolest waiting rooms I've ever been in at an oil change place. They gave me the remote to a big screen TV, showed me where the free snacks and drinks (hot and cold beverages are), and even provided me a comfy wooden pad to put my laptop on. Totally digging it... including the Wi-Fi they're giving me to write this out on,

Whenever I see well-thought out hospitality, I think, "What can I learn from that?"

For instance, when I was walking in I was greeted by someone outside. Then as I came in the door, I was about to notice the small space right at the door but instead became distracted by the warm welcome... from three people. The usual handshakes were there, the guy in the somewhat worn blue work shirt heading into the garage area... another guy in a cleaner blue work shirt standing behind the desk, the guy dressed up just a bit who was probably the owner. Then a nicely dressed lady popped out of nowhere (maybe the owner's wife?) and said, "Have you ever been here before? Let me show you around."

That's when I got the remote and all the other complimentary treats... in the fridge, juice and soda (even something called "Candy Cane Pop"); on the table, a basket full of snack packs with everything from Pringles and chips to Oreos and Nurti-Grain bars.  Then I was told I could win the big screen TV if I wanted to enter a contest, and a Wii if I wanted to enter another.

Oh... the best part? It's all free. I had a coupon to come in here and get a free oil change. I know, I know... it's so they can figure out what else is wrong on my car. But I felt spoiled, and I might just let them.

I wonder... are there any implications and applications... for my household and yours... and the church?

sharing the victory

In an interview last week with Sharing the Victory magazine, Drew Brees, MVP quarterback in last weekend's Superbowl, talked about how his faith affects his life and his game:

“I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart on my 17th birthday...Before that, I'd gone to church with my family, but I didn't fully understand it or accept it... I remember my pastor talking about God 'looking for a few good men.' All of a sudden the light bulb went [on] in my head and I was like, 'Hey, that's me; I can be one of those few good men!'”

When asked what that meant, Brees answered:

“It means that you trust in the Lord, you trust that He has a plan for your life. You trust that He's never going to put anything in front of you that's too hard for you…so no matter what comes your way, you'll overcome it and it will make you stronger. [It's] the ability to influence—in a positive way—so many other people, and just be able to spread the blessings that God has bestowed upon you.”

He also talked of his career-changing injury:

“When I had that injury...in San Diego, I felt that was the worst thing that could've ever happened to me at the worst time—potentially career-ending—and you start to feel sorry for yourself. You start to ask, 'Why me, why now?' I looked back a year after that—after I'd already been [in New Orleans] a year—and I said, 'You know what, God? That was probably the BEST thing that could've happened to me!' ...Otherwise, I would've never had the opportunity to be a part of this community, to be a part of this rebuilding effort. I feel like I'm a mentally tougher, and stronger person for it; both with my job as a professional football player, as a husband, soon after as a father, and then with my faith.”

Sharing the Victory 2/2/10

restraint

Check out this quote from George Foreman, describing the 1974 fight with Muhammad Ali (where Foreman lost the Heavyweight Champ title):

Probably the best punch of the whole fight was never landed. Muhammad Ali, as I was going down - stumbling and trying to hold myself - he saw me stumbling. Ordinarily, you finish your fighter off. I would have. He got ready to throw the right hand and he didn't do it. That's what made him, in my mind, the greatest fighter I ever fought.

I watched the footage of this fight, and you can see what Foreman is talking about.



A famous quote states that "Restraint is the better part of valor."  When you know you have the power to destroy another person in word or deed and choose not to, it can be more admirable than many may ever recognize... for true discretion occurs when it is unnoticeable to those who are watching.  Which makes the practice of secrecy about the restraint that much more of a statement.

However, there are times when the punch should land.  In the Ali vs Foreman fight, several swings occurred before the one that didn't.  In our realm of relationships, we have to remember that we are in other people's lives for a reason, too.  If we neglect to press in and help them grow (which is a different goal than a prize fight, of course), we can do them a disservice as well.

So wherever you find yourself these days with plenty of "ammunition" to take out another, you may want to ask yourself if this is the time to make an aggressive or a passive move.

Because both are needed, and I'm guessing most of us tend to be imbalanced in this area, one way or the other.

lessons from a child

Pretty cute, and pretty powerful. Our boys have been doing this, too, since the first allowance they began to earn.

How does that verse go? "...and a little child will lead them." (Isaiah 11:6b)

great nine-minute thoughts from others

If you follow this blog or are popping in, chances are you might appreciate these fresh ideas on leadership. Some great videos are available here for FREE to watch - 9 minutes each from a variety of down to earth people who have a great handle on some of the things I often post about on this blog.

Check it out: http://thenines.leadnet.org/

the myth of your potential

I'm glad for a friendship I formed a few years back with Brian Dowd, a personal and professional coach who heads up Next Step Leadership. In an article he wrote last year, he really nails the idea of "potential" and common myths that go along with it.

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An acorn is the picture of potential. A tiny acorn that isn't even the length of a paperclip can take root and, over a number of years, grow into an enormous oak tree. That tree is thousands of times larger than the size of the original acorn and produces countless more acorns.

As developing leaders, we may look at the giants around us, other leaders who are oak trees to our acorn. Like the acorn, we can acknowledge the potential that lies within and aspire to become that oak tree. Potential holds power.

Unfortunately, the reality of potential is often accompanied by three myths. These myths undo the possibility of reaching that potential.

Myth 1: Your potential will inevitably be reached.

There is no doubt that you have great potential. There is plenty of doubt that you will reach that potential.

It is likely that you have a grasp of your potential, an idea of what you can and want to be in the future. But between where you are now and reaching that potential has risks and obstacles in the way. These risks and obstacles derail the path to potential more often than leaders care to admit.

What is needed is a plan, perseverance and preparation for what is to come in order to reach your potential.

Myth 2: Your potential lies along your current path.

You have a number of different abilities and talents. What you are good at may not be where your potential genius is. Do you have a sense that you could be more, do more or have more? The difference between good, great and genius is remarkable. You have the potential to be a genius when you do your best stuff and that is the path towards your greatest potential. Does your current path point you towards genius? If not, you're potential points elsewhere.

Myth 3: Your potential exists independently of other people.

Leaders that operate at less than their potential do too much on their own. In order to operate as a genius, you will need others around you to complement you where you aren't a genius.

An author needs a publisher, an athlete needs an agent and every product needs promotion. You may be able to do it all yourself, but your potential is not in every aspect.

Refuse to be a jack of all trades so you can be a master where your potential lies. Wherever your potential lies, it will need the involvement of others to help you go the distance.

As a coach, I work with leaders on their way to be the future giants, the big oak trees. I'm working with several directors in a telecommunication company right now that expects to be twice as big in two years. These leaders have the potential to manage twice as much responsibility, but they see the need to develop that potential now, before they get behind the curve. Each of these directors have unique potential and I'm helping them on their unique path to get there by working on their Development Plans.

Your potential and path to get there is unique. The need to actively develop that potential is universal. Don't wait until the need is overbearing.

Potential needs to be developed, targeted and complemented with the involvement of others. You can be like a giant oak tree if you reach your potential.

My Next Step:

1. What is something you can do to develop your potential this week?

2. What do you do that is great with the potential to be genius? How can you align your efforts more in that direction?

3. Who does or can help further your efforts towards reaching your potential?

free leadership conference today!

Today (right now, actually) is a free online leadership conference called The Nines (http://thenines.leadnet.org). Here is a schedule:

(Central Standard Time)

9AM — Troy Gramling, Mark Beeson, Anne Jackson, Dave Ferguson, Scott Hodge

10AM — Perry Noble, Stacy Spencer

11AM — Dino Rizzo, Nancy Beach, Steven Furtick, Reggie McNeal

12PM — Craig Groeschel, Leonard Sweet, Greg Surratt, Jon Tyson

1PM — Margaret Feinberg, Larry Osborne, Matt Carter, Pete Wilson

2PM — Neil Cole, Reggie Joiner, JD Greear

3PM — Mark Batterson, Dan Kimball, Mark DeYmaz

4PM — Jud Wilhite, Brian McLaren, Bob Roberts, Rick McKinley, John Ortberg

5PM — Alan Hirsch, John Bishop, Toby Slough, Ed Stetzer

6PM — Mark Driscoll, Darrin Patrick, Brad Powell

7PM — Darrin Whitehead, Brian Bloye

8PM — Eric Bryant, Nancy Ortberg, Rick Warren

Whether or not you know all of these names shouldn't matter. There are some powerful voices here - trust me. So enjoy! It should be quite a day of "fire hydrant" receiving.

I'd love to dialogue on any thoughts here. So come on back!

top leaders share advice

Paul B Thornton was once challenged by a Fortune magazine article entitled “The Best Advice I Ever Got.” It was full of interesting wit and wisdom about achieving business success, inspiring him to produce his newest book, Leadership: Best Advice I Ever Got. This is essentially a compilation of the best leadership advice 136 successful CEOs, coaches, consultants, professors, managers, executives, presidents, politicians, and religious leaders received that most helped them become effective and successful leaders.

His observations include:

1. Always remember to stay open, listen to everyone, but develop your own leadership style. Leadership is about making things happen. If you want to make something happen with your life, do it. Perceived obstacles crumble against persistent desire. John Baldoni, author and leadership communication consultant, shared this advice from his father, a physician. He taught him the value of persistence. At the same time, his mother taught him compassion for others. Persistence for your cause should never be gained at the expense of others.
   
   
   
2. Listen and understand the issue, then lead. Time and time again we have all been told, “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason,” or, as Stephen Covey puts it, “Seek to understand rather than be understood.” As a leader, listening first to the issue, then trying to coach, has been the most valuable advice that Cordia Harrington, President and CEO of Tennessee Bun Company has been given.
   
   
   
3. Answer the three questions everyone within your organization wants answers to. What the people of an organization want from their leader are answers to the following: Where are we going? How are we going to get there? What is my role? Kevin Nolan, President & Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Health Systems, Inc. believes the more clarity that can be added to each of the three questions, the better the result.
   
   
   
4. Master the goals that will allow you to work anywhere in today’s dynamic business world. Debbe Kennedy, President and Founder of Global Dialogue Center and Leadership Solutions Companies, shares this advice that has been instrumental in shaping her direction, future and achievements. While a young manager at IBM just promoted to her first staff assignment, one of her colleagues offered this advice. He mentioned that jobs, missions, titles, and organizations would come and go. He advised her not to focus her goals toward any of these, but instead learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere.
   
   He was talking about four skills: The ability to develop an idea. Effectively plan for its implementation. Execute second-to-none. Achieve superior results time after time. So, forget what others do; work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.
   
   
   
5. Be curious. Curiosity is a prerequisite to continuous improvement and even excellence. The person who gave Mary Jean Thornton, Former Travelers EVP, this advice urged her to study people, processes, and structures. He inspired her to be intellectually curious. He reminded her that making progress, in part, is based upon thinking. She has learned to apply this notion of intellectual curiosity by thinking about her organization’s future, understanding the present, and knowing and challenging herself to creatively move the people and the organization closer to its vision.
   
   
   
6. Listen to both sides of the argument. The most valuable advice Senator Brian P. Lees ever received came from his mentor, U.S. Senator Edward W. Brooke III. He told him to listen to all different kinds of people and ideas. Listening only to those who share your background and opinions can be imprudent. It is important to respect your neighbors’ rights to their own views. Listening to and talking with a variety of people is essential not only to be a good leader in business, but to also be a valuable member within your community.
   
   
   
7. Prepare, prepare, prepare. If one has truly prepared and something goes wrong, the strength of the rest of what you’ve prepared for usually makes it something easier to handle without crisis and panic, says Dave Hixson, Amherst College Men’s Basketball Coach. The best advice he ever received: “Preparation is the science of winning.”
   

How about you? What is one really good piece of leadership advice you've been given?

whack-a-mole

If you've ever felt pressed down for your creative side, you're not alone. Len Sweet offers these words:

Len Sweet: Wack-A-Mole from The Work Of The People on Vimeo.