three "Christians" walk into a bar

You're perhaps familiar with the scenario.

Three people say they are Christians. 

One person seems to be richly walking with God and is full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control; another person is angry, proud, speaks negatively of others, is hard to be around, has opinions that aren't allowed to be challenged and asks to be accepted without being held accountable; a third person hovers in between and figures, "I'll admit that I'm not perfect, but I won't do anything about it. Maybe if I don't look like the second category, I'll at least look more like the first category."

Of course, you're the first category.

Of course.

I "know" I am.

Yet all three people claim they are Christians.

Why does one of those individuals' lives seem to line up more with what Jesus prescribed than the others?  Or does it? Who's right? Who's wrong?

Are all three really Christians?

Often we believe the "bar" to gauge if someone is a real Christian is if they are spiritual as we are. The trouble with that concept is the only "bar" to measure anyone or anything is Jesus Christ. We likewise forget that our sense or morality isn't as pure as we'd like to believe.

John Ortberg, in his book Faith and Doubt, illustrates this by challenging that if we really wrote out what we believe at our core it would look less like the Apostle's Creed and more like a something we sketched in the sand. For many that might mean owning up to these hidden beliefs:

• "I believe that a lie is a bad thing, but it might be necessary for me to avoid pain."
• "I believe that it pays to be nicest to people who are wealthy, attractive, smart, athletic, successful or important."
• "I believe that I have the right to pass judgment on others."
• "I believe that I have the right to gossip about people."
• "I believe that I had better be looking out for number one."
• "I believe that things have not gone as well for me as they should, so I deserve a little treat: another doughnut, another drink, another pill, another fantasy…" 
• "I believe that thirty thousand children dying of preventable diseases every day in our world are not worth risky my affluence for." 

Ortberg sums it up by adding "All of these convictions lie deep within me, and you can see that I believe them if you look at the way I live."

Along these lines, examining the life of Jesus shows us what integrity and wholeness of faith looks like. When we give Him our life, receive Him as Savior and follow Him, we undergo a transformation. He redirects us, changes our core convictions, and offers us a glimpse at why we're on planet earth.

Honestly, I'm not interested in what category you're in or I'm in. All three categories of people need Jesus - we will all walk into a bar one day with His name on it. It will either hurt because we closed our eyes and wouldn't see it coming... or it will give us comfort because He is consistent, firm and unmoved in a world that feels less like bedrock and more like quicksand.

Be honest... you're probably nodding your head at that more quickly than you're nodding your life.

I know I am... and I hate that enough to do something about it. Do you?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)

now... here's the fun part

If you don't know who Eduardo Saverin is, you likely know of something he helped start with a friend named Mark Zuckerberg. In college they were the original founders (if you don't believe the Winklevoss twins) of Facebook.

I'm not sure why I started following Eduardo's feed on Facebook, but I think it had something to do with wanting an insider's perspective on social media. After reading something he posted this week, as well as the commentary that followed, I'm reminded of how we think our opinion matters more than it does.

Case in point, let's start with Eduardo's comments on Facebook letting its stocks go public:

On the eve of the Facebook public float, 8 plus year in the making, I as co-founder wanted to look back and cherish Facebook's early beginning. Congrats to everyone involved in the project from day one till today, and I especially wanted to congratulate Mark Zuckerberg on keeping tremendous stead-fast focus, however hard that was, on making the world a more open and connected place.

Although he's come under fire for some controversy of his own, I appreciate Eduardo's sentiment. Here is the graphic he attached that shows Facebook's early days:

Now... here's the fun part.

Among the many comments that followed, I somehow gravitated to one in particular.

It reads "Get rid of the timeline!!! I'm seriously considering going back to MYSPACE. Maybe...."

Keep in mind, this is right on the eve of Facebook about to make more money than they know what to do with... which is a problem they already have. Yet here is a person on Facebook threatening to go back to another social network that she left for what appears to be a negative experience.

She's threatening Facebook... on Facebook.

Do you think Facebook is afraid? Are they going to take this comment seriously?

More importantly, does she believe Facebook is going to take this comment seriously?

You'll note that I blurred out her name, because this isn't about her and I'm not trying to poke fun. Rather, it's a revelation that most of us don't realize.

Social media has become about us getting our way... or at least trying to.

Maybe we're just like how Facebook was first founded - only instead of five people who embodied those traits, each person embodies them all. Do you see any of this in your or others online:

• Founder: We believe "I am doing things in my life aren't as important as what's happening in your life. I have the right to say what I want to say without question. I know you share something, but honestly I'm more interested in what I shared... what I'm doing... my latest breakthrough or complaint. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount."
  
  
• Destroyer: We believe that if we have a bad experience with a person or a local store, the best way to feel vindicated is to destroy them online. If you have an issue with your family or are trying to win over mutual friends in a dispute you have with another person, make sure everyone hears your point of view.
  
  
• Brazilian: We believe we're culturally unique and people actually want to see the places we've been, the food we've just eaten, and the place we've flushed it all.
  
  
• Lockbox: We believe that if we can get enough people to like/retweet/pin what we say, that we've locked down credibility on what we've said - especially if we can get random friends and strangers to debate with us against any other random friends and strangers who think differently.
  
  
• Pressguy: We believe that if we post enough content about how "those guys are morons" (politics, anyone?) or how amazing our latest breakthrough is we can get more people to see life our way and buy our latest product/service/philosophy.

Here's the punchline... none of this has anything to do with Facebook. All social media does is amplify what's in our hearts. That is ultimately an issue of unaddressed sin - something that every person on the planet is tempted to overlook.

Take a look at the list I created - see if you recognize any patterns in your communication or others. If you find yourself shaking your head, take a second look... which ones are you even unconsciously tempted or bent toward?

Meanwhile, take note that I've ironically used social media to talk about social media. If you've made it thus far, then perhaps you're willing to join me in finding a redemptive purpose for our time online versus ranting and raving about however we're feeling.

Otherwise, how about you just like this, retweet it, and pin it - because "I need more followers."

(Um... not.)

Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”? (Proverbs 20:9)

reading between the signs

So... my family just put a sign in our yard to sell our house.

No worries - we have no plans to leave town or our church. The deal is that after five years of living where we're at, we're simply finding our floor plan isn't the best for how we're trying to raise our family. Between homeschooling our boys and keeping up with a toddler, we're taking a step of faith to see if some doors open up.

I'm sharing that with you so you can hear what's up straight from me. Sometimes when we hear only a bullet point about a situation we find ourselves wanting to sum up the rest of the story before there is one. It's a principle the Bible teaches about when it says :

"Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you." (Proverbs 2:11)

Take some time today to remember that there's more going on in the lives of people around you than you may realize. Sometimes we pride ourselves on our ability to read a person or situation, but we just may miss out on the full story because we get caught up in the "signs."

a commentary on commentary

Some interesting thoughts on Barack Obama and marriage are circulating online.

In case you missed it, he said something that a lot of people felt one way about and another group of people felt another way about. This prompted plenty of graphics, polls, snark and commentary that people posted on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Of course, for all the liking and debating... nothing changed. The pursuit of happiness continued to blind every American, and we spent more energy trying to make sure everyone can have an opinion versus discovering what the original and actual Truth is.

Where do you think that will ultimately lead us?

"If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg." - Abraham Lincoln

"The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." - Genesis 2:25

guest post: this is such a mess

From Monica Arnold, Kids Connection of Connection Church

This week started off absolutely crazy.

I usually enjoy Mondays. It feels like I can get an invigorating look at the week ahead. To-do lists get written; menu gets set; house gets cleaned.  I like Mondays.

But this week’s Monday? Not so much. There was no cup of coffee consumed before the phone started ringing; a bowl of Rice Krispies was bumped against the wall before a single chicken scratch was made.

To cap it off, there was an unexpected, early phone call to schedule a series of medical tests. It ultimately led me to make a decision to have surgery on my foot a whole lot earlier than it was supposed to happen. I now have 10 days less to get everything in my life to a place of sanity.

Maybe this is why not much of what usually happens on Mondays got done.  I started complaining, ranting, and telling myself and every other living thing around me how typical this is.  Just last week I was telling a friend (after separate odd events) how these kinds of things just happen, I’m sure, as a way for God to boldly remind you that you're not in control. Ever.

Which is a blessing that only feels like a curse if you lose perspective.

God has control. I have to remind myself several times to let this reality stick and really embrace it. And I’m really glad God has control. It’s so stinkin’ hard to give that up sometimes and let Him have his way, and be humble enough to know when to step back.

This is something of a partial epidemic in my life! It’s so much easier to tell you all the things I couldn’t control than it is to share about how much of this God had under control.  And it’s so much easier to complain here about what’s gone wrong today than it is to tell you all of the good things that happened.

Guess what? I got to go on a walk with my kids today. We got to squeeze in a couple short dirt bike rides. We ate Popsicles together afterwards. My mom gave me a CD of a Christian group I have been so missing to listen to on the tedious drives to and from the hospital.  My friend stopped by after her long day at work to offer help and share some of my responsibilities.

Really good things happened today.

I am thankful that God has a plan and can use everything in that plan... for the placement of the situations and the people He has put in my life as blessings... His complete plan of control over my life is comforting to have at the end of the day. It would’ve been easier to look past all the rubbish throughout the day and thank God for what I had instead.

It reminds me how Women’s Connection is wrapping up on a 10 week study on “David: Seeking a Heart like His."  God has shown me how completely necessary it is to turn to Him in everything I do and surrender all those things I know I just can’t keep up with or do… to Him. I learned that it’s less about my day to day and more about His life plan. How neat to have that sort of “armor” to walk away with from a study, where you get to learn and listen from other women who have been there, done that.

God allowed David to be put through a crazy amount of stuff. But still, David continued to praise Him.  

• Psalm 31:5 “I entrust my spirit into Your hand…”  
• Psalm 31:7 “I am overcome with Joy because of Your unfailing love for you have seen my troubles and You care…”  
• Psalm 30: 1 “I will praise You Lord, for you have rescued me…”

Looks like I need to take a few cues from the Bible. Life may feel like a mess... but God can turn the splatters into a masterpiece.

“The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my victory.  He is my God and I will praise Him!” (Exodus 2:15)

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a practical game plan for your week

A week can be full of angst or joy, but having a game plan in each day can make a world of difference. Whether circumstances are good or bad, one day will roll into another - so why not add some practical structure that just may help you uncover some redemptive potential versus the reactive leftovers? .

Check out these practical commands that can root you into a larger Reality:

• Don't pretend - with God, with others, or with yourself. (see James 5:16)
• Don't turn a blind eye - to a friend stuck in sin or in need. (see James 2:14-17, Galatians 6:1)
• Don't exaggerate - to look good, avoid getting in trouble, or sound impressive. (see Matthew 5:33-37)
• Don't shoot the messenger of the Message or avoid the Message altogether (see 2 Timothy 4:3)
• Don't hide behind the success of your past (see Philippians 3:13)
• Don't be lazy or choosy in your faith and call it legit (see Luke 14:27)
• Don't hold back relationally, financially, or prayerfully from God. (see Colossians 3:23)

Now... how about some do's:

• Do follow Jesus - not merely what following Jesus feels like (see Matthew 16:24)
• Do work out what you've been putting off with another person (see Matthew 5:23-24)
• Do remind yourself that you've never locked eyes with another human being who is not
  valuable to God, and let the next few sets of eyes you see know that (see John 3:16)
• Do reset yourself in Truth each day (see Psalm 1:1-2)
• Do fight for more than trying to be right - fight to do right and release righteousness into the world (see Matthew 6:10)
• Do share what you've received - both internally and externally (see Hebrews 13:16)

A game plan doesn't just help you know what to do, but helps you adapt when life doesn't go as planned. Whether it's what I've shared with you here or something you personalize, form a game plan that will help God more easily form you.

"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 1:5-8)

guest post: my own worst enemy

From Holly Whipple, Next Gen Connection of Connection Church

I often feel like my own worst enemy.

I've at times found myself second-guessing myself and God in my daily thoughts. On the surface level, I "know" the right answers; however, that’s not always what’s going through my mind (which is what ultimately influences how I react in life’s situations).  I can either believe what God has planned for my life, or trust in my voices of doubt. 

I recently quit my job to stay at home with our daughter Julia, and it's amazing how much of a daily battle it's become! Before I quit, Mike and I brought this desire to the Lord in prayer and it was very clear to us that it was His will for me to be at home. However, this week we found out Mike’s car needs a $1000 repair and our leaking bathroom drain will be $700 to repair - both difficult numbers to swallow on a newly one-income family. I seriously doubted if I was supposed to quit my job without having adequate emergency savings ready since I am one to always plan ahead, but I was convicted in my doubt. 

Thankfully, both repairs do not need to be completed immediately and we have the option of waiting to save up to cover the cost of the repairs. However, any outsider looking in wouldn't have known that with the way I made it the end of the world! I've spent much of my time after leaving my job trying to trust in my own ability to make it on one income. This past week it became evident that I can’t do this alone and it was not God’s plan for us to try it that way. 

These thoughts of doubt keep us from focusing on what (Who) really matters. Romans 12:2  made this evident to me this week:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

I need to renew my mind with His word so I can then have confidence in God’s will rather than the doubt that creeps into my thoughts. It is the outpouring of what’s in my heart that can overcome the challenge of doubt.

This is also applicable to the "3 Month Hold-Nothing-Back Challenge" our church is undertaking. The three areas we as Christians tend to try and be in control  (instead of God) are our time, relationships and resources. 

• Our thoughts challenge our free time by telling us we are too busy to set aside time with Him. 
• Our fear of being ‘weird’ when we boldly share our faith with others holds us back.
• Our pocketbooks feel too thin to faithfully give.

What if we instead made time for Him in prayer and study, shared Him with others and generously gave to His work through the church? It is with daily immersion in His presence that we can overcome such conforming thoughts and be transformed into sincere Christ followers. 

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churches partnering together

Today I took part in a monthly lunch I have with area pastors, and appreciated hearing from a couple others who joined us from a nearby city. They've done well at creating a network of churches who really work together well.

Here are some of the notes I took:

Reasons why a network like this matters:

• God responds to our prayers.
• All ages need to be reached for Jesus on their level:
• Kids needs to hear about Jesus in a variety of ways.
• Tweens need mentoring inside and outside the church.
• High School students need character development that impacts every area of their lives.
• Adults need to see how their congregation is linked into the larger Story of God.
• A mentoring network can be across church lines.
• We honor the work of those who ministered before us.
• It keeps us from looking for a silver bullet via a conference, and makes us “stay and pray” by asking God “What do you want to do here with the talent you have?”
• You experience the fruit of other churches/pastors praying for other congregations/pulpits.

Transferable principles:

• Love: People will know if you love them or if they are a project. Love keeps doors open and helps people trust you because they don't feel you're in a hurry with an agenda.
• An observation: Some of the greatest breakthroughs will happen when the timing is right and people trust you enough to see you as a resource.
  
  
• What God wants to do in any one community is bigger than any one church: Everyone in the city can find a church that will connect with them, and pastors can help this to happen by not competing over sheep.

• An observation: When we opt to not compare ourselves to other churches to appear better/healthier/edgier, the inverse ripple is that we model commitment to the Kingdom, which in turn helps church attendees become less consumers.
  
  
• Serve versus scold: Some churches are more known for pointing fingers versus serving needs.
• An observation: The physical analogy reveals a spiritual one - pointing a finger only allows you to close a door; open hands can open doors.
  
  
• Prayer: Spending time in prayer makes us spend time in God together. Pray people come to a saving knowledge in Christ, and grow in favor/wisdom.
• An observation: It will be difficult to get everyone to show up in large numbers every time. It’s up to each person in such a network to not grow resentful if they are the only one able to make it that week.
  
  
• Neutral Ground: It may help to diffuse potential tensions by not meeting at each other's churches, but instead a public or city area. “Until we all get to heaven well all have insecurities – be it parking lot envy or the dynamics of how someone else’s church is healthier than yours.”
• An observation: I wouldn’t argue with these points, but they sadden me. Maybe a long-term goal is for the location to not even need to be neutral?
  
  
• Focus on essentials: Bring Christ into central focus without feeling like you need to abandon your distinctives. Get to know those “other perspectives” without arguing, unless it is an issue of sin. Worry less about trying to get them to think “straight, like you do” versus thinking about what it means to follow Jesus.
• An observation: There will need to be some basic creed that pastors agree on, or else groups that want to be included but really aren’t like-minded will water down the ultimate goal.
  
  
• Let the doors open - don't force them: God is always at work. Hop on for the ride with a serving towel ready.
• An observation: It may be hard on your pride, but you may not be the person who opens the door you’ve been knocking on for years. Another person/pastor/church may be able to get the answer, but if you see them as co-laborers it’s a win for the Kingdom.
  
  
• Real ministry is always incarnational: The Word became flesh and moved into the neighborhood. We try programs all the time, but the ministry that transforms lives is people revealing Jesus.
• An observation: Ministry often is easiest to jump into from afar from from adrenaline, but it's the commitment to "not go anywhere" that lets real life change happen in you and through you.
  
  
• Relational connections with each other make ministry do-able: When you have to deal with grumpy church critics or tough situations, your church can empathize with your role but only your peers can "get it" and its affects on your household.
• An observation: Amen.

Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth." (3 John 1:5-8)

marriage matters

The most expensive date costs less than the cheapest divorce lawyer. 


Invest into your marriage... DAILY.


While you may have a preferred way of doing that, maybe it's time to mix things up. Here is one suggestion that utilizes technology, and another that utilizes a resource from a book:


Install an app on your smartphone to spur you on: I'm a BIG fan of one app in particular that has all kinds of practical ideas based on the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Smalley. It's a quick source of inspiration when you want an idea to invest into your marriage, and includes these platforms:

• For Droid: Love Your Husband App
• For Droid: Love Your Wife App
• For iTunes: Love Your Husband App
• For iTunes: Love Your Wife App

Take on the Passion Plan: Author Jim Burns (in his book "Creating An Intimate Marriage") prescribes the following:


You will need to reserve at least:


15 seconds a day


15 minutes 5 days a week


1.5 hours a week


And another 1.5 hours a week


Here’s The Passion Plan explained:

• Kiss passionately for at least 15 seconds every day. Daily passionate kissing keeps the fire burning. Kissing is intimate and romantic. A prostitute once said, “I will have sex with my clients but not kiss them. Kissing is far too intimate.” Passionate kissing for even fifteen seconds a day releases feelings about each other that say, “I love you. I want to be with you. You are special to me.” This is not about sex, it’s about romance. One last thought: There is no rule that you have to keep it at fifteen seconds. Go ahead and splurge…go for longer!
• Take 15 minutes at least 5 days a week to connect and talk. Frankly, if there is not emotional intimacy or connection, there will be little interest in healthy romance. Find time to connect. Find time to communicate on a deeper level. We have friends who are in pastoral ministry who have a set standing appointment just to sit on the couch, hold hands and talk about their lives with each other. The kids can take a 15-minute break, their church doesn’t need them for those 15 minutes and the investment of time talking and connecting speaks volumes to the pastor’s spouse. Cathy and I like to take our dog for a walk. This is our time to share our hearts with each other. Too many times, I’ve seen this as physical exercise or taking care of the dog and then I realize this time together connecting was very important for Cathy…and me.
• Date and court your spouse for at least 1.5 hours a week. A non-negotiable, regularly scheduled date with your spouse speaks volumes. This is a time to not talk about insurance, the bills or your work problems, but rather focus on each other. The question I have to ask myself as I prepare to go out with Cathy is, “Am I only giving Cathy my emotional scraps?” Dates don’t have to be fancy or expensive. I find that Cathy can put up with a fairly crazy schedule if she knows she has my full attention on a weekly date. If you are too busy to date, you are too busy with lesser priorities.
• Schedule into your life 1.5 hours a week for sexual intimacy. If you are like most people, you may stumble on the word schedule. Spontaneity is wonderful when it comes to romance and let’s hope for many breathtaking spontaneous moments. But all marriage authorities do agree that a scheduled regular time for sexual intimacy can bring a spark back to the relationship quite quickly. Believe me, if you do this, you will get past the word “schedule” very quickly. One pastoral couple I know from Tennessee schedules sexual intimacy every Wednesday. He has to preach on Wednesday nights and his wife told me he is never long-winded anymore. Even during the day, they may flirt with each other with an email that simply reads, “It’s Wednesday.”

"Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband." (Hebrews 13:4a, The Message)