inner bullies

We all struggle with thoughts and fears that want to bully us. 

Talk to yourself 

instead of just 

listening to yourself.
 

Ask the question, 

"What is one thing I can do to make the situation better?" 

Then... 

do that thing, 

whether tiny 

or huge.

facing an aftermath with new grammar

You’ve read the headlines.

Not just the ones that break our hearts, but the ones that enlarge our hearts.

Our world became fragile again when we heard about the Boston explosion, and we cringed when we learned an 8-year old boy became its third fatality.

There are no words for that.

Yet somehow we were strangely encouraged when we saw how many people ran into the smoking chaos after the blast.

We cheered when Twitter posts shared how runners who crossed the finish line of the Boston Marathon kept running to the hospital to donate blood.

The world took note of the District Attorney’s Office Braveheart-esque declaration, “Moments like these, terrible as they are, don’t show our weakness. They show our strength.”

Individual acts, big and small, can overcome fear and reveal Light in times of great darkness.

There is also something about the aftermath of a tragedy that gives us a desire for new grammar.

For a brief moment, virtually everyone online paused. Instead of recycling more pictures of cats waterskiing or posting our self-righteous outrage about the latest thing we didn’t like about someone else, we looked for something deeper.

Apparently, we found it in Mr. Rogers… yes, that Mr. Rogers.

Facebook was flooded with a quote Fred Rogers said years ago:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world.”

What if we could live like this all the time? What if instead of living with outrage about what we find wrong, we engaged what was right from the get-go?

Most days we’re searching Starbucks cups, organic juice bottles or Chinese buffet fortune cookies for a jaunty manifesto to live our day by. Maybe your desk calendar spouts a daily quote or you regularly check your horoscope for advice from a bull or scorpion.

I wonder if we’re so distracted with all these surface-level options that we forget what it means to be deeply attentive.

Psalm 46:10 challenges, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Our hurdle is we can post a personal thought online that’s immediately met with a global audience. Facebook posts and groups can quickly devolve into a Tazmanian Devil-like mob of ranting. Even local “Letters to the Editor” often become more about stomping our feet at others than dialoguing.

We become people looking to say something versus actually becoming people who have something to say.

The aftermath of a tragedy, be it personal, local, national or global, gives us an excuse to mature in how we think and speak. You realize policemen are “heroes” instead of “someone looking to bust me.” Firemen are finally thanked for their everyday, unnoticed volunteerism because you realize when you need them they’re actually there.

Pardon the interruption, but again… why can’t we live this way more often?

I ask because the opposite observation is also true. We often assume we’re the “rescue workers” of everything from local matters to family tensions, when in reality we’re just causing more explosions.

Life is going to continue to squeeze us. Pain will happen, and what we store up in us will spill out of us. Part of the gap we see in the world tracks back to a gap inside of many of us.

Try this: Write down what you hope would come out of you in a tragic moment, then get around people and ideals that will nurture that. Make sure it’s a legitimate commitment, though - even the strongest anchor can’t serve you if you’re only loosely connected to it.

You can waste your breath complaining about life, or bring life into this world until your dying breath.

P.S. This is 8-year-old Martin Richard who died at he Boston Marathon waiting to greet his father.

I could try to say something profound here, such as Martin Richard was embraced and greeted by his heavenly Father that day instead... but I think I'm just going to weep over this for now.

4 questions to realign your life

Are you trying to give the world energy you don't have?

Maybe you do have it, but it's misaligned.

We often tend to live against the grain of who God created us to be, even when we're doing the things we think He wants us to do. At times a realignment means a change in circumstances, but often it's an internal shift that changes how you approach those very same circumstances. It's a process of uncovering the "created you" you were meant to be and can be, which in turn means personally unearthing what Jesus meant when He said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) 

One of the biggest culprits is in thought patterns we live by. For some strange reason even Christians will say we will do something because "I have a peace about it." Strangely, God didn't call us to feel at ease with what we do. Our ministry on earth often means doing whatever will bring life to others, for often  the Lord calls us into chaos to bring peace.

This is why your quiet time with God matters more than you give it credit for. Especially in today's culture, you're likely more "active" than ever before, often at the expense of the ancient practice of contemplation. Parker Palmer, author of "Let Your Life Speak," shares this great thought:

True self, when violated, will always resist us, sometimes at great cost, holding our lives in check until we honor its truth.

Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening. I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about quite apart from what I would like it to be about – or my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intentions.

Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live — but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.  - Parker Palmer

To clarify what this means, Palmer has stated, "I would be lost in the dark without the light Christianity sheds on my life, the light I find in truths like incarnation, grace, sacrament, forgiveness, blessing, and the paradoxical dance of death and resurrection."

If you resonate with how your life needs to resonate, here are some key questions to ask to better align your life "as is" into what you were actually created for:

Where is the life/joy?

• What are your reactions to life?
• When was the last time you felt joyful, be it through an experience, conversation, event, movie, etc? Did you pay attention to it at the time?
• When does a surge of energy/enthusiasm come into you? (Pay attention to it next time.)
• Where are you assuming you are doing the right thing because it feels peaceful. Might you have settled for false peace versus working toward a peace beyond understanding that might require doing what's difficult?

Where is the impact/fruit?

• 1 Peter 4:2 clarifies that our lives are not merely for ourselves, for a Christian "does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God."
• Jesus reminds us in John 15 that what is publicly birthed out of our life is directly related to what we do behind closed doors.
• How have you avoided fruit in one area of your life because you feel productive in another area?

Where is the affirmation?

• Who is someone who speaks into your life and won't tell you what you want to hear?
• What are the projects or places you are at ease with what needs to be done?
• How are you able to do things others seem unable to do?
• Where are you bumping into God on things He is resisting you on?

What is your character like when you are and aren't doing something significant?

• You have cracks in your character. What is the break-up in your make-up?
• Where are you demanding people just need to "understand you" instead of you doing the hard work of growing up?
• When you're sitting around waiting for the next "battle," what's happening inside of you?

If you want to become clearer on the path God has you on, take those questions in personally as well as with others who will share the journey with you.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

can you finish either of these stories?

A man on the side of the road has a sign that says he and his family need help. I stop by to talk with him, and ask what his story is - "Perhaps I can bring some food by wherever you're living?" I ask.

"I live in Parma," he says, blowing the smoke from his cigarette in my face.

Parma? That's at least a half hour away toward Cleveland.

"What's your family situation?"

He takes another drag of his cigarette. "A wife and four kids. The police won't let me ask for help there. You can put the food in my car, though. I mean, my friend's car. He loaned it to me and told me I should come down here to ask for help."

---

A single mom is working around the clock to make ends meet, let alone figure out where they begin. She receives no child support, but has chosen to not let that embitter her toward the world.

She knows she needs help, but doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. So she's pouring herself into her job, picking up extra shifts, and trying to walk through this season with seasoning.

This Christmas is going to be tighter than the rest.

Tighter?  Try non-existent when it comes to giving any tangible gifts to her kids.

That is, until...

---

Both of these stories are true, and I know the ending. 

The bigger question is... do you?

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14:12-14)


If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:3)

capturing the now

"Gentlemen you're going to be on the field 75 plays. Two or three of those plays will determine the outcome of this game. Unfortunately I can't tell you which ones they're going to be. Therefore you're going to have to play them all." - Vince Lombardi

Something I've been reminding myself (and the amazing members of Connection Church) in recent days is that today is Gameday... and every day is. Specifically, I'm referring to the fact that the greatest moment of your life is right now, for the greatest thing that could ever happen in your life is just a decision away. And to top it off, it's not just an "us" thing... the God of the universe is about to throw each of us a pass that He hopes we each catch and move down the field.

Maybe that sounds somewhat inspirational, because it absolutely is. Yet it drives us to question, "What does that practically mean?" and "How do I 'capture the now' of the moment?"

• The first issue is mindfulness: People step up into their God-given destiny - be it on a daily basis or for their whole lives - when they stop seeing life through small eyes. This doesn't happen naturally, for it requires something "beyond natural" - or "supernatural" - to show us what that we are otherwise blind to. The question is would you rather be blind to such an option or would you rather know what you're missing out on? The worst thing we can do is continue to believe our assumptions on their own will always be right.
  
  How aware are you of the greatest thing that could come out of your life on any given day? Do you allow your mind and heart to imagine yourself taking part in something so glorious that the sheer thought of it makes you weep?
  
  
• The second issue is motive: It's one thing to see what your life can be, and another to find a reason to decide to embrace it. A motive empowers you to live against the grain of the status quo you have set your life to live within. Until enduring the pain of this staus quo becomes greater than the pain of change, we will keep doing what we do and never jump into the vibrant life of reconnecting with our Creator (and our created purpose).
  
  What would it take for you to get off your duff about something you know you need to get off your duff about? A moment of brokenness? Another person?
  
  
• The third issue is method: We need to establish a new trend in this generation to not let the fear of the unknown paralyze us from action. It seems like previous generations threw themselves into whatever needed to happen, even when they didn't know how to solve their problems. We're so used to Google and Mapquest telling us our answers that we freeze up with indirection when the clear steps are not outlined. Maybe Door #1 won't open the way you want it to, so how about seeing if Door #2 is actually a backdoor to get you into the same room?
  
  What tools do you use throughout your day that help you get your most important stuff done? Do those tools make sense to continue to use with this renewed endeavor?
  
  
• The fourth issue is membership: We all need more than a purpose... we need a committed community of purpose that will surround us with others who have decided to not settle for the status quo. Some may feel comfortable enough to open up, while others will simply enjoy the presence of being around others. Either way, we gain a network of relationships that allows us to discover the things that must change - which, ironically, is only possible to have any form of accuracy when we are linked into the one thing that will never change - God Himself.
  
  Are the people you're connected to going to help you simply "be happy?" Or will they help you become more than you are or even imagine for yourself?
  
  
• The fifth issue is maintenance: All of the previous steps have created a culture, and so the remaining step is to be sure that culture stays relevant. Simply put, this means taking eternal truth and being sure it is connected to the "here and now." Every hurdle will give you an opportunity to distinguish between what is the core purpose of your life (i.e. "What I simply must do") versus that which is merely circumstantial (i.e. "What I do because that's the way my life is.").
  
  Are you willing to create a culture that is intentional about upgrading growth potential and downsizing comfort when appropriate?
  

If you want to be a part of something that has real purpose and eternal value to it, you have to be willing to capture the now. Sure, it may take a bit of advance work, but it's well worth it.

It's Gameday.

what if?

We've seen in recent years how innovation is happening more quickly than it has in other decades. Throw out the status quo and consider, "What if?"

• "What if we made a better automobile?"
  
  Ta-da! Smart cars.
  


• "What if we reinvented the circus?"
  
  Presto-chango! Cirque Du Soleil.
  


• "What if cell phones became even more convenient?"
  
  Clear an eardrum. Bluetooth.
  


• "What if I could choose my own infinite playlist with NO commercials?"
  
  Download this! Mp3 player adapters become standard in new cars and satellite radio takes off.
  


• "What if the garage sale went global?"
  
  Eureka! Ebay and Craig's List.

There are magazines devoted to nothing more than telling you what the new "thing" is. Sometimes they take off in powerful ways, while many other products and inventors fall to the wayside.

Innovation is about letting bigger things get smaller and smaller things get bigger; turning things upside down and inside out; exploding the obvious into smithereens and letting a group of scattered ideas become powerfully networked; marrying two words that don't belong next two each other to create or rebirth a concept the world has been yearning for.

Innovation IS about reinventing the wheel.

We obviously we see this in the consumer market, but what about if this is true in your relational circles, too?

• Past arguments: What if you brought innovation to a situation you've written off? What if you began to look at the "idiot" on the other side of the fence with eyes that looked past the hurt and found a place of healing?
  


• Future weariness: Often we drop out of very worthy commitments when the excitement wears off and life wears us down. What if you found a deeper reason to be doing what you do now so that when you get tired of it you're still willing to do what is right?
  


• Rescheduling for relationships: That favorite hobby or activity that takes you away from or puts you on a different schedule than the people in your life? What if you found a different time to do it to better invest in your relationships?
  


• The God factor: Have you figured God out so much that you've forgotten He's bigger than your brain? What if you became willing to relearn something you're sure of as if you were a child... because that's how He invites you to come to Him.

The list can go on, but you get it. Innovation is about asking, “what if?” with an attitude of hope and faith and the absence of fear.

I dare you to ask, “What if?” Maybe the next Google won't come out of you, but perhaps the next great movement of care in the people around you will.